After another typical Bengals loss (the kind where we have a chance to win but never do), a chipper Marvin Lewis entered the Bengals Press Room as calm as a serial killer explaining the voices in his head forced him to kill 50 hookers.
Lewis’ mysterious demeanor after the Bengals 0-3 is part-in-parcel to the fans’ frustrations with one of the worst franchises in the NFL. His vague answers reflect his “losing is ok” mentality and dictate to anyone listening that their loss was inevitable.
CAUTION: Marvin Lewis’ answers may cause confusion and high blood pressure
Q: Is it frustrating, with a veteran offense, when you have to call early timeouts?
ML: We had a problem with the (helmet) communicator. Carson couldn’t hear the play, and I’d rather not take the delay of game there. I guess they have frequency problems there in New York. It became an issue and happened early. The league was aware there was a problem, and it bit us in the butt early in the game. And so we had to get that resolved. There were a couple of plays early in the game where he couldn’t hear.
Charlie Hustle’s take: If anyone has watch Bob Bratkowski’s offense in the past few years, he has implemented a no-huddle offense where Carson calls the plays/check-downs at the line. Some of the Bengals’ most explosive offense has comes as a result of the no-huddle. Carson knows the playbook backwards and forwards.
If you fucking knew there may be a problem with the radio signals you either A) put in some sideline hand signals B) make a simple substitution with the entering player calling the play or C) just let Carson run the offense like he knows how to.
When you waste timeouts in the second half of close NFL games, you lose the ability to manage games.
Q: Your defense has only one sack through three games:
ML: We want it to be better. We need to get more pressure. We got a lot of pressure yesterday but weren’t able to get him on the ground.
CH: Last year’s favorite excuse, injuries, for the lack of pass rush has simply been replaced by an even more asanine reasoning – “uhhhh I wish we were better.” The NFL is a league of adjustments. To have 1 sack in the 3 games is a clear indication that there have been no adjustments made. And for the record, Keith Rivers, the savior of our defense who currently still ranks #2 in tackles among rookies, managed to record 0 tackles… clearly improving.
Q: The play with T.J. Houshmandzadeh on last regulation drive … he couldn’t get a first down, and then you couldn’t spike it because it was third and one … that was huge. But looking back, do you think you should have taken a shot in the end zone?
ML: Carson has to deliver the ball to the open part of the coverage. He’s not going to throw the ball in the end zone and risk an interception. I don’t know that there was no way. But the play call that he made, he put the ball in the right spot, and Antonio (Chatman) comes very close to making the guy miss and scoring. That’s all you can do. At that point, where you are on the field, your chances of getting five guys in the end zone, and, as you say, take that shot, are difficult to do without risking the sack and throwing you out of field goal range.
CH: You play to win on the road. This particular answer was given by Marvin after laughing as if it were ridiculous to throw it in the endzone. It’s almost as if that no team has ever scored a touchdown to win in the final minutes because the defense knew it was coming. This lack of ability to win was predictable and the clock management was atrocious. Nothing more to say about it.
And now my favorite part…. it’s time to play………….
CONFUSING MARVIN QUOTES!!!!
“The defense had a great start to the day and didn’t finish as well as they had started. ”
“Yeah, we can’t give up a third-and-fourteen play like that.”
“The confidence comes from doing things right. Those are the things that you’re always telling somebody.”
“We did some good things in some areas, and there are some things we need to tighten. ”
“You get on that bike, and if you pedal and stay on the mid-line, you won’t fall over. If you don’t pedal fast enough, you’ll fall over.”
Thanks again Marvin for the enlightenment. Good luck next season.
— Charlie Hustle