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Archive for the ‘General Sports’ Category

Beale Street Blues

Posted by Ryne E. Hancock on January 27, 2009

Ever since the Grizzlies arrived in Memphis eight years ago, they have tried, and ultimately failed, at righting the ship .

There was the hire of Hubie Brown, which resulted in the franchise’s first playoff appearance in 2004, during the last season at the Pyramid Arena and ended with Brown moving back to the broadcast booth.

Another broadcaster-turned-coach Mike Fratello followed Brown and led the Grizz to the 2005 and 2006 playoffs, only to be let go in the middle of the 2006-07 season giving the Grizzlies their fourth coach since moving here in 2001 in Marc Iavanori.

And like Fratello, Iavanori, who I met during the draft day party at the Flying Saucer on South Second Street in May of last year, would receive his walking papers on January 22nd, a day after the Grizzlies lost to the Charlotte Bobcats for their seventh straight loss.

Personally, I always thought when O.J. Mayo arrived in Memphis the fortunes of the franchise would change, which happens to be the same blind hope that most Grizzlies fans have every year after Rudy Gay/Mike Conley/Shane Battier held a Grizzlies jersey up and said to the world that they were a member of the Grizz.

Trust me, I did.

But when you continuously dish out a disinterested product on the court, filled with, in the words of Geoff Calkins, players that really don’t want to be here in the Bluff City and have a fan base of 5 and 6 year-olds waving pom poms and poor drunks on the corner of North Third and Jefferson begging for change so that they can get a fifth of Jack Daniel’s, then you have to wonder what is really going on in Michael Heisley’s head.

Why would an owner trade the only All-Star the franchise has ever had, as well as the all-time leading scorer in franchise history, only to see him walk to a team filled with a certain Hall-of-Famer and a nucleus of young talent that actually made it to that year’s NBA Finals?

Why would an owner trade two players that were part of that three-year run and in turn would win NBA Championships with their clubs?

I mean, why?

It’s time to face the music, Mr. Heisley.


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I’ll Always Remember…

Posted by Ryne E. Hancock on December 24, 2008

In the classic coming-of-age movie “The Girl Next Door”, a movie that starred Canadian import Elisha Cuthbert (the girl from “24”) and Emile Hirsch, the final scenes of the movie reflected on the memories that Emile Hirsch’s character would take from his senior year of high school.

And in those moments in which he reflected on the wild ride of his final month in high school, he always began with the phrase, “I’ll always remember.”

In what has a year of tragedy, triumph, and history, I decided to share with you guys, in what will be my final column of 2008, the memories that I have from the sports world.

It is safe to say, it was that kind of year.

I’ll always remember the 93-52 beatdown that Vanderbilt put on Kentucky and the chants of “double digits” that were heard around Memorial Gym as well as the expression on UK fan Ashley Judd’s face that was seen around the country.

I’ll always remember the emergence of Cardinals outfielder Ryan Ludwick, who came out of nowhere and kept the Cardinals in contention with his bat and defense until September.

I’ll always remember the run that the Lady Comets softball team made in the TransSouth Conference Tournament, a run that ended all too soon against the Union University Bulldogs in Jackson, Tennessee.

I’ll always remember the RCA Dome, which had been a part of the Indianapolis skyline as long as I have been alive and, towards the end of its short life span, got a chance to see a Super Bowl title before it went into the annals of history.

I’ll always remember the feel-good story that was the Tampa Bay Rays and how a team that no one would have never picked to win the American League East, let alone the Pennant, shocked the world with players like Evan Longoria, Carl Crawford, Scott Kazmir, and David Price by defeating the mighty Boston Red Sox en route to their first World Series.

I’ll always remember Drake University winning their first Missouri Valley Conference title in almost 40 years on my big sister Renetria’s 25th birthday.

I’ll always remember former Crichton basketball player Derek Boykin’s game-winning shot on January 17th against Lyon College, two days after their upset of Nationally-ranked Martin Methodist in Pulaski, Tennessee.

I’ll always remember the “Game of the Century” between Memphis and Tennessee as well as Vol coach Bruce Pearl getting too comfortable with TNB patron saint Erin Andrews after the game.

I’ll always remember the look on Phillies reliever Brad Lidge’s face after getting the final out of the 2008 World Series, this coming after giving up two epic postseason homers in 2005, one of them off Albert Pujols in Game 5 of the 2005 NLCS.

I’ll always remember the Gatorade shower that Doc Rivers was given on the bench as the Celtics won their first NBA title in 22 years against the Los Angeles Lakers.

I’ll always remember the emergence of Vanderbilt’s Shan Foster and his catchy NBA Draft song.

I’ll always remember Western Kentucky’s Ty Rogers and his miraculous game-winning shot against Drake in the NCAA Tournament.

I’ll always remember Georgia’s run to the SEC Tournament Championship and the buzz created around Atlanta, a city I will be in on Sunday afternoon.

I’ll always remember the Lady Comets’ 2008 volleyball season and the play of Rachel Walton and Kelsey Watson.

I’ll always remember Vanderbilt’s 5-0 start and College Gameday’s first-ever visit to Nashville when the ‘Dores faced Auburn in front of a National audience, winning in front of a packed Vanderbilt Stadium.

I’ll always remember Davidson’s magical run to the Elite Eight behind sweet-shooting Stephon Curry and how, if Davidson won, we wouldn’t have to hear about Mario (Bleeping) Chalmers.

I’ll always remember the wild pitch that was thrown by softball player Sierra Coltharp prior to Crichton’s doubleheader against Central Baptist.

I’ll always remember the slow start by the Colts and their current winning streak, which I’m sure is going to extend on Sunday when the Titans come to Indianapolis.

I’ll always remember characters like BD, Courtneee, Q, Nutz, Ginny, Zarko, Jas, Long, and the cast of characters who made covering Crichton athletics fun.

I’ll always remember the 28 homers that Josh Hamilton hit in the first round of the final Home Run Derby at Yankee Stadium.

I’ll always remember Manny Ramirez being traded to the Dodgers and leading them to the NLCS.

I’ll always remember the redemption of Andre Allen, going from National punchline to a key player at Crichton where he is now second on the team in scoring.

I’ll always remember the monster dunks made by Marqueys Brown, including one he made against Mountain State on December 6th.

I’ll always remember losing to former Crichton softball player Aimee Grissom in basketball a week before the basketball season ended.

I’ll always remember the kindness of my second mothers in the Athletic Department, Donna McWorther and Bobbi Tunstall.

I’ll always remember the 2007-08 Memphis Tigers and all of the memories that team provided me and this city and how to this very day, those final moments of the National title game still haunts us.

But most importantly, I’ll always remember all of you who have been on this wild journey with me and the rest of the gang as this will more than likely be my final column for The Nasty Boys in 2008.

Thanks again to Matt and the rest of the crew for giving me the opportunity to write my thoughts on the sports world for the last two years.

My “faculty adviser” Coach Matt Sanders for helping me not only with my classes but also spiritually, especially after the deaths of my friend and my beloved aunt.

The people at Republic Coffee for letting me perform on Tuesdays and the people that I have been plugged in with so far at Fellowship Memphis.

All of our readers and affiliates throughout the region for linking with us, in the process creating new fans of our work.

The Crichton Student Government Association for the continued support since the beginning of the school year as well as the Office of Student Development at Crichton College.

And finally, my joy Shamika and her beautiful daughter Madison. I can’t express how much you brighten my day and I treasure our friendship more than anything. I love you with all my heart.

Posted in General Sports | Tagged: | 1 Comment »

A Very Emmitt Thanksgiving

Posted by Matt on November 27, 2008

Hey all, this here is Emmitt to wish all you Nasty Boy fans a very Happy Hollerdays. When you get to your family during Thanksgiving be sure to think about being with your family on this day.

Today I am going to give you Emmitt’s best hollerday suggestions:

When you cook da turkey, make sure you don’t overcook da turkey.

Turkey and dresser is da best meal you can get.

Thanksgiving Day football games are like history and when I played for Dallas we played in all the Thanksgiving days that we played in.

Make sure you try da cranberry sauce because it just wouldn’t be cranberry sauce without it.

I hate to change the topic but I am going to…

It has been a good year, 2008 has and Emmitt has a lot to be thankful for. I had a very punctual year and I can’t wait to get back on ESPN for work again with the NFL. Which brings me to why I’m here, da NFL.

A lot has happened this NFL season since it started because it has been so long ago so I am going to give you my thoughts from the NFL season up to Thanksgiving Day:

Da Rookie of da Year is none other than Atlanta quorterback Matt Ryan. Matt is the best quorterback to come through Atlanta since he got there.

Da MVP — or Most Valuable Person — is gotta be Kurt Warner of the Arizona Cordinals. He has taken my former team to da next level through his great play at the quorterback position.

Da Detroit Lions are very bad but they won’t be as bad if they win a game eventually.

Da Bengals are in turmoil and I have been there but you have to realize you’re in turmoil before you can fix it.

Unfortunately my time is short ant that is all I have for you on this Thanksgiving Day.  I hope you’re there for me and whenever you get down and think life is bad, remember Emmitt is there for you.


Posted in General Sports | Tagged: , | 1 Comment »

Charlie Hustle’s Quote Of The Day

Posted by Matt on November 12, 2008

Ed.’s Note: Once again, this gem was left on my desktop by the legendary Charlie Hustle…

Regarding ESPN’s “The Talented Mr. Roto” Matthew Berry and this article:

“He’s a fantasy football expert which officially puts him on the women attractiveness scale right below toll booth worker.  It’s like he meets some chick at the bar and when she politely asks him what he does for a living and he responds ‘Fantasy Football Expert,’ there is absolutely no follow up question given; the same confused look as if he said child rapist.”

Other Charlie Hustle Randmoness:

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Change Has Come, So Let’s Get To Work

Posted by Ryne E. Hancock on November 5, 2008


With the election over and done with, the new tasks that our sports world will take on as Barack Obama becomes this nation’s 44th president will be without question daunting.

Obama’s win will give hope and change to a huge following of Chicago Cub fans like Bob Swerski who believe with all their hearts that the Lovable Losers will win their first World Series in over a century.

Yes they can.

This win for America will give new meaning to success stories, stories like the 2008 Tampa Bay Rays, who went from perennial losers to World Series participants.

Yes they did.

The Memphis Tigers, the unwanted stepchild of the NCAA Tournament, are winners of three straight Conference-USA Championships, winners of a record-38 wins that earned them a berth in the NCAA title game proving that, although you’re in a so-called weak conference, you can achieve the impossible.

Yes they did.

Crichton’s volleyball team, who went from going 0-fer to being one of the best in the country this year, because of the talent that has been brought in with players like Kelsey Watson and sophomores Rachel Walton and Jasmine Vann.

Yes they can.

The Fresno State Bulldogs, who if not for Josh Hamilton and the Rays, would probably have been my pick for best baseball story of the year, beat the mighty Georgia Bulldogs to win the College World Series.

Yes they did.

There’s been so many stories in sports of change and hope this year, whether it was Josh Hamilton’s performance in the 2008 All-Star Home Run Derby to the redemption of Brad Lidge, who until the 2008 World Series was known for giving up El Hombre’s home run in the 2005 NLCS and Scott Posedneik’s walk-off in the World Series, was able to bounce back and record the final out of this year’s World Series.

True we do have haters of Obama as we do haters of this website you are reading now.

But all bullshit aside, we should put down our differences and unite as sport fans and Americans.

It doesn’t matter if you voted for McCain or Obama (as I did).

Because at the end of the day, we are all Americans.

Now that the change has come for our country, it’s time for us to get to work and make this country great for sports and democracy.

Posted in General Sports | 1 Comment »

Election Day Redux: If I Were President

Posted by Matt on November 4, 2008

Ed.’s Note: This piece first ran two days after the Super Bowl on “Super Tuesday” in February at the start of the Presidential campaigns.  Enjoy (hopefully) on this Election Day…


All of this Super Tuesday talk has really gotten me in the mood to talk politics.  Wait, who am I kidding?  I could careless about politics unless Boomer Esiason is running for the Oval Office; however, I do know what I would do if I were ever elected to office.

If I’m President…

  • The Monday after the Super Bowl will be a National holiday. – How many of you took any time off of work this past Monday?  1…2…3…4…5…6…7…8…9…10…11…12…wow, OK, let’s try this again.  How many of you WENT to work on Monday?  1…2…….5.  A total of five.  The five who went to work on Monday does not include yours truly.
  • The White House will be repainted Kentucky blue and renamed accordingly. – GO BIG BLUE!
  • The phrase “Play ball!” will be recited by everyone in the Chamber prior to the State of the Union Address. – Self explanatory.
  • Every American citizen will get the first two days of the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament off to “do their taxes.” – Let’s be honest, you already have your taxes e-filed with H&R Block software, and with direct deposit you’ll have your return before Valentine’s Day (and thank God because the old lady has REALLY been riding your ass this year) but upper management doesn’t have to know this.
  • The Presidential safe-haven known as “Camp David” will be relocated to Sarasota, Florida in February and March. – It will also be renamed “Reds’ Spring Training.”
  • All state-side National Hockey League teams will be relocated to Canada.  Permanently. – If I could have ever followed that damn puck on television, the NHL might have stood more of a chance.  Sorry guys, but it’s nothing personal.
  • All East-coast ESPN offices will be relocated to the West Coast.  Permanently. –  We’re all tired of hearing about the New England Patriots, the Duke Blue Devils, and Big Ten football.  Sorry guys, but it’s likely personal.
  • Congress will be comprised of the winning teams of the World Series, the Super Bowl, and the NBA Finals, along with the winners of the Master’s Tournament, the Indianapolis 500, the Daytona 500, and the Kentucky Derby — the horse, not the jockey. – These athletes are likely more recognizable than anyone ACTUALLY in Congress now and most of them could probably make better decisions as well — the horse included.
  • September 2nd will be a National Day of Remembrance. – It’s Adolph Rupp’s birthday.  It’s the least you can do.
  • Instead of “Carbon Offsets” for corporations there will be “Dick Vitale Offsets.” – And ESPN will have to buy a whole hell of a lot of them if they ever want to hear Dickie V. talk again.
  • And finally: Ric Flair will be my Vice President, Billy Gillispie will be my Chief of Staff, Pete Rose will be my Secretary of the Treasury, Ken Griffey Junior will be my Secretary of Defense, Rich Brooks will be my director of F.E.M.A. (for rebuilding), Chad Johnson will be my Press Secretary, and Erin Andrews will be my First Lady. – Need I say more?


Posted in General Sports | Tagged: | 6 Comments »

SEC Rankings – Week 5

Posted by Ryne E. Hancock on October 3, 2008

After the weekend that was for the SEC, I again would like to welcome you guys back with my SEC power rankings for the week of September 28th.

1. Alabama (After thrashing Georgia Saturday, the Kentucky Wildcats comes to the Capstone for their SEC opener. Certainly, the Tide won’t care if they play the same way they played against Georgia.)

2. LSU (Mississippi State wasn’t exactly a red-letter game on the Bayou Bengals’ calendar, but after the Bulldogs got hammered by Georgia Tech September 20th, the Bulldogs hung with the Bayou Bengals until Charles Scott punched in two touchdowns to send the Bayou Bengals into the bye week winners over MSU 34-24.)

3. Vanderbilt (I can’t believe I’m typing this. Vanderbilt welcomes Auburn to 25th Avenue South and given the way the Plainsmen been playing, can anyone say 5-0?)

4. Georgia (Time to ditch the black jerseys, Dawgs. You got owned by ‘Bama in them.)

5. Florida (For Urban Meyer’s sake, he won a National title unlike his predecessor. Had he not won that title, do you think Urban Meyer would be able to show his face around Gainesville after losing to Ole Miss?)

6. Auburn (Defense shines, but the offense is still suspect in Auburn.)

7. Ole Miss (Win over Florida gives Rebels much needed confidence for the SEC slate.)

8. South Carolina (Uh oh, the Gamecocks have to head to Oxford. Can Gamecocks stand and deliver?)

9. Kentucky (Toughest road trip of the season comes up for ‘Cats this weekend.)

10. Tennessee (For the first time in life, people in Knoxville are counting down the days til basketball season.)

11. Arkansas (Angry Gators come to Fayetteville. Let’s see if the Razorbacks can make ’em more angry this weekend.)

12. Mississippi State (Dream season was nothing more than a mirage.)

My time’s up. You’ve been a great audience. VOTE OBAMA!!!!!

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Cat Fancy

Posted by Charlie Hustle on September 23, 2008


After another typical Bengals loss (the kind where we have a chance to win but never do), a chipper Marvin Lewis entered the Bengals Press Room as calm as a serial killer explaining the voices in his head forced him to kill 50 hookers.

Lewis’ mysterious demeanor after the Bengals 0-3 is part-in-parcel to the fans’ frustrations with one of the worst franchises in the NFL. His vague answers reflect his “losing is ok” mentality and dictate to anyone listening that their loss was inevitable.

CAUTION: Marvin Lewis’ answers may cause confusion and high blood pressure

Q: Is it frustrating, with a veteran offense, when you have to call early timeouts?
ML: We had a problem with the (helmet) communicator. Carson couldn’t hear the play, and I’d rather not take the delay of game there. I guess they have frequency problems there in New York. It became an issue and happened early. The league was aware there was a problem, and it bit us in the butt early in the game. And so we had to get that resolved. There were a couple of plays early in the game where he couldn’t hear.

Charlie Hustle’s take: If anyone has watch Bob Bratkowski’s offense in the past few years, he has implemented a no-huddle offense where Carson calls the plays/check-downs at the line. Some of the Bengals’ most explosive offense has comes as a result of the no-huddle. Carson knows the playbook backwards and forwards.

If you fucking knew there may be a problem with the radio signals you either A) put in some sideline hand signals B) make a simple substitution with the entering player calling the play or C) just let Carson run the offense like he knows how to.

When you waste timeouts in the second half of close NFL games, you lose the ability to manage games.

Q: Your defense has only one sack through three games:
We want it to be better. We need to get more pressure. We got a lot of pressure yesterday but weren’t able to get him on the ground.

CH: Last year’s favorite excuse, injuries, for the lack of pass rush has simply been replaced by an even more asanine reasoning – “uhhhh I wish we were better.” The NFL is a league of adjustments. To have 1 sack in the 3 games is a clear indication that there have been no adjustments made. And for the record, Keith Rivers, the savior of our defense who currently still ranks #2 in tackles among rookies, managed to record 0 tackles… clearly improving.

Q: The play with T.J. Houshmandzadeh on last regulation drive … he couldn’t get a first down, and then you couldn’t spike it because it was third and one … that was huge. But looking back, do you think you should have taken a shot in the end zone?
Carson has to deliver the ball to the open part of the coverage. He’s not going to throw the ball in the end zone and risk an interception. I don’t know that there was no way. But the play call that he made, he put the ball in the right spot, and Antonio (Chatman) comes very close to making the guy miss and scoring. That’s all you can do. At that point, where you are on the field, your chances of getting five guys in the end zone, and, as you say, take that shot, are difficult to do without risking the sack and throwing you out of field goal range.

CH: You play to win on the road. This particular answer was given by Marvin after laughing as if it were ridiculous to throw it in the endzone. It’s almost as if that no team has ever scored a touchdown to win in the final minutes because the defense knew it was coming. This lack of ability to win was predictable and the clock management was atrocious. Nothing more to say about it.

And now my favorite part…. it’s time to play………….


“The defense had a great start to the day and didn’t finish as well as they had started. ”

“Yeah, we can’t give up a third-and-fourteen play like that.”

“The confidence comes from doing things right. Those are the things that you’re always telling somebody.”

“We did some good things in some areas, and there are some things we need to tighten. ”

“You get on that bike, and if you pedal and stay on the mid-line, you won’t fall over. If you don’t pedal fast enough, you’ll fall over.”


Thanks again Marvin for the enlightenment. Good luck next season.


— Charlie Hustle

Posted in General Sports | 1 Comment »

You Can’t Ask For More, Can You?

Posted by Ryne E. Hancock on September 19, 2008

Doc’s Note: This is the latest in a series of columns about sports at Crichton College. Check back with more tales from the place called North Highland Park.

In what has already been a historic year in North Highland Park where, for the first time ever, two teams from Crichton won on the same day when the volleyball team defeated St. Catherine’s College and the men’s soccer team defeated Spring Hill College on August 29th. Thursday afternoon’s book signing involving yours truly and the volleyball game later on could have easily been a 21-gun salute.

For much of this week, you couldn’t go anywhere around the campus in North Highland Park without seeing everyone wearing red.

In fact, during basketball practice on Wednesday afternoon, senior forward Zidyiah Carter, who just so happens to be my next-door neighbor, pulled out a red asthma pump.

Talk about painting the town red.

The leadup to Thursday’s celebration looked more like the leadup to what will be on Sunday at Yankee Stadium as the Yankees play their last game at the venerable stadium.

At 1:25 p.m., softball pitcher/first baseman Brittney Davis, yours truly, and Julie Nichols all threw ceremonial pitches to former Crichton rightfielder Jasmine Scudder, beginning the first ever student book signing in North Highland Park.

For an hour, North Highland Park celebrities like Courtnee Steen, Dr. Bradley Greer, Redbird Redhot Lauretta Plummer, as well as my former elementary school principal Dr. Ruby Payne, who has been at Hanley Elementary School in Memphis since the Reagan Adminstration, came by to congratulate me on the debut book.

“Are you heading to Hollywood?” asked faculty athletics representative Dr. Bill Carr.

“No sir,” I replied, “I have a year to go in school and a volleyball game to do tonight.”

“He’s not going anywhere,” neighbor and soccer standout Gavin “Dodgey” Smith said after the reception ended, “This school is trying to keep him grounded.”

Once all the confetti and candy was gone from the reception, the Lady Comets volleyball team, which like most of the athletic teams in North Highland Park wore red to support yours truly,  had their chance to cap off Thursday’s festivites by facing off against the Lane College Lady Dragons.

And in a woodshed beating that looked similar to basketball’s thrashing of Blue Mountain School For Boys, the Lady Comets, playing their best volleyball of the season, completed Thursday with a sweep of Lane with one of the matches finishing 25-4 thanks in part to the play of Rachel Walton, Kelsey Watson, and Andressa DaSilva.

After all is said and done, there’s no question in my mind that yesterday, like August 29th, was historic.

After all, can there be anything that tops it?

Not really.

Posted in General Sports | Tagged: , | Comments Off on You Can’t Ask For More, Can You?

Ol’ One Nut Is Back

Posted by Matt on September 8, 2008

Not content sitting at home with his lone ball, resident bad ass Lance Armstrong will reportedly resurrect his cycling career from retirement to run the Tour de Freedom again in 2009. Armstrong, who won an unprecedented 7 straight Tours, has spent the last three years having sex with such hotties as Sheryl Crow and Kate Hudson, not to mention being linked to the Bob Saget-approved Ashley Olsen (your guess is as good as mine).

Lance turns 37 this year and will also allegedly ride in four additional road races that nobody will watch all while publishing blood test results to prove that he’s the last man on the circuit not doping before, during, and after the Tour.

Suck it you Frenchie freedom haters, your worst enemy is back and even with only a single testicle he’s twice the man any of you are. I don’t know about any of my loyal fans, but I — for one — am still validating my daily life with a yellow ‘LIVESTRONG’ bracelet and if you’re not, well, it is clear that you hate America.

Linkage: FOX Sports

Posted in General Sports | Tagged: , | 1 Comment »

I’m Back Like Brett Favre

Posted by Matt on August 19, 2008

Yes, this is an actual screen shot of a game of Tecmo Super Bowl I won against the computer during my time off. I told you I had important business to tend to.

Everyone can breath a sigh of relief as I have returned to give direction and purpose to your life; however, a lot happened while I was off rescuing the illegitimate children of Shawn Kemp — let’s relive some of the memories, shall we?

Brett Favre Unretired: Did you hear about this story? It was lucky to make the back pages…

Several MLB’ers Were Traded: Thank you, Cincinnati, for trading away the only reasons I had to watch a Reds game the rest of the season.

-The Chinese Government Faked A Bunch Of Olympic Crap: In communist China the national anthem sings you!

Michael Phelps Won An Ass Load Of Gold Medals: Suck it, Spitz.

U.S. Gymnast Shawn Johnson Stole Our Hearts: She’ll be 18 on January 19, 2010 for those of you who are interested [See: Bob Swerski].

-And Doug Gottlieb Probably Stole Your Wallet: Once a thief, always a thief.

-The Bengals Resigned Chris Henry: …wait, what?

As you can see we have a lot to catch up on and that was only the tip of it, just to see how it felt. By the looks of things around here while I was gone it is time to start cracking that whip…

It has been too long,


Posted in General Sports, The Nasty Boys | Tagged: | 4 Comments »

ESPY Awards Review

Posted by Bob Swerski on July 21, 2008

There are very few things which piss me off more than the ESPY awards. This is probably due to the fact that if you have seen 1 ESPY award show then you have seen them all. Let’s review what happened last night (which also happens at every other ESPY show).

1. When giving out the ESPY for Best Female Athlete, the group always has to include some random sport which is either in the Olympics or not in the mainstream (as if any female sport is “mainstream”). This year they decided to nominate a skier, but ultimately the basketball chick won.

2. Will Ferrell has to promote his movie whether or not it has anything to do with sports.

3. There will always be some athlete who is dressed in a $20,000 suit who wins an award and then has to go on a “I thank my Lord Jesus Christ who makes all things possible.” This year it was David Tyree from the Giants who even had the audacity to talk about “bringing about the Kingdom of God.” Dude. You play football. Get over yourself.

4. Toward the end of the show, which probably pisses me off more than any other aspect, is the Jimmy Valvano Award. Each year they go through the whole same story about how great Jimmy V. was (and he was great), and how someone who is a comeback story for everyone. It isn’t necessarily the award which pisses me off more than the douche bags who they show after the award. It is always men and women who are borderline in tears or are in fact weeping like assholes. This year the cake topper was when some woman (it might have been Fergie, but I’ll have to check the tape again) said “wow” as if somehow Kevin Everett’s story was the most touching thing which she has ever witnessed. I have utmost respect for Kevin Everett and his comeback, but come on… seriously?? Wow? It is just a bunch of losers with too much money who go over the top to try and show people they have emotion when in fact, most of them don’t.

5. Similar to number 1, they always try to promote sports which frankly no one gives a shit about (soccer, BMX, lacrosse, hockey, NBA). Then they have to pick the greatest current or former player in said sport to come and try to explain to people why their sport is great even though no one gives a shit. Afterwards everyone feels that said sport is indeed the greatest until next year when some new sport will give the people some fad to buy into. Who knows what crappy sport will be put on the pedestal next year.

The bottom line is that the ESPY awards suck. The worst part is that they try to pawn it off on us the fans: “The winner that the fans voted for is….” AAANNNDDD no one cares. All that I want to see from the ESPYs is hot female athletes dressed in slutty little dresses.

Posted in General Sports | Tagged: | 5 Comments »

100 People and Events That Shaped The First Year Of TNB (10-1)

Posted by Ryne E. Hancock on July 14, 2008

10-“The SEC Continues Its Dominace” (A National Championship and the first sophomore to win the Heisman in history should make for a great lead-in for the 2008 SEC football season.)

9-“The Greatest Upset” (Normally Applachian State and Michigan isn’t on the top of everyone’s must-see games in college football, but the first televised football game of the Big Ten Network proved to be one for the ages.)

8-“Banner 17” (After 22 years in the wilderness, the Boston Celtics returned to glory by beating the Jesus out of the Lakers. In the process, it gave Paul Pierce, Kevin Garnett, and Ray Allen their first NBA title and Shaq more fodder for his freestyles.)

7-“Come After Me, I’m A Man” (While for the most part I didn’t understand originally what was the fuss over an article in what is known as America’s worst newspaper, I began to realize what the problem was after I sobered up from a night of drinking the next morning.)


6-“Kentucky: It’s More Than Basketball” (In one of the most memorable football games in the history of Kentucky football, the underdog Wildcats defeated the #1 LSU Tigers, therefore exercising the ghost Devery Henderson making a miraculous catch five years before. My best moment from the aftermath was calling Matt to congratulate the University of Kentucky on their historic win.)

5-“Spygate” (No matter how you slice it, the Patriots exposed as cheaters gave Colts fans like myself enough reason to hate the Patriots. Even though they went undefeated in the regular season, they still choked when it mattered.)

4-“Bonds Does It” (Love him or hate him, Barry Bonds became the all-time leading home run king in the early days of the blog. Believe it or not, I’m probably one of the few people that don’t believe he took the juice.)

3-Tim Donaghy (The shame of all NBA referees.)

2-Michael Vick (One of the many cautious stories I tell a few of my friends who want to go into pro sports is the tale of Michael Vick and his “friends”. I wonder how many of them are going to have his back when he gets out.)

1-“Forever Blue and Gray” (38 wins, a third straight C-USA championship, #1 longer than any team in school history, and a cast of characters that will forever be a part of Memphis sports history, is a good reason why this event as well many of the people and events shaped our first year. Enough said.)

My time’s up. I would like to thank each and every one of you for making our blog the success that it’s been for the past year. The best is definitely yet to come.

Thanks again and God Bless,

Doc Holliday, Jr.

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100 People And Events That Shaped The First Year Of TNB (20-11)

Posted by Ryne E. Hancock on July 4, 2008

20-“Josh Hamilton’s Comeback Story” (Whether you’re a baseball fan or not, you can’t help but love the comeback story that has been former Red and current Ranger Josh Hamilton, who is among AL leaders in RBI, home runs, and batting average.)

19-“The Year of Derrick Rose” (Probably one of the most heralded, wait, the most heralded recruit to ever come to Memphis since Keith Lee way back in 1982.)

18-“The Rockies’ Magical Run” (11 straight wins and a one-game playoff added to Colorado’s first National League pennant in franchise history.)

17-Jennifer Rivers (A long time ago I wrote a column for another website on how most guys never run into girls that root for the same team that they do or even worse, know nothing about sports. Thankfully, Ms. Rivers isn’t one of them girls.)

16-“The Kevin Garnett Trade” (At first I was being realistic about this trade when it happened, but as soon as the Celtics came out the gates and then, we all know what happened in the NBA Finals.)

15-“The Game Of The Century” (As I said before, Dr. Bradley Greer was and is one of the few Vol fans I can actually stand. Apparently after the Tennessee-Memphis game on Feb. 23rd, I had a mind to tear him a new one after they beat us.)

14-“Flushed Down The Drain” (The 1964 Phillies, the 1969 Cubs, the 1995 Angels, the 2003 Cubs, and the 2004 Yankees had nothing on this collapse in New York as the Mets folded up shop in the final weeks of the season and blew a seven-game lead that gave the Phillies its first division title since 1993.)

13-The Walker Family (Normally in most cases, the family that prays together stays together. In this case, the family that reads TNB together stays together.)

12-BD and Ginny (The picture explains everything, except the fact that both of them can strike me out with three pitches in softball and I blame one for my heavy Coke drinking.)

11-“Davidson’s Run” (If this was a movie, Stephon Curry would hit a three-pointer with 10 seconds left and we wouldn’t have to hear about Kansas and Mario (Bleeping) Chalmers.)

My time’s up. RIP George Carlin.

Doc Holliday, Jr.

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Ashley Judd, NASCAR Hardly Knew Ye

Posted by Matt on July 2, 2008

Nearly nine months to the day we welcomed Ashley Judd to NASCAR as her husband Dario Franchitti inked a deal with Chip Ganassi Racing in the fall of last year to drive the #40 Dodge in the 2008 Sprint Cup Series.

And now, just as soon as she came (that’s what she said), we must say goodbye to Ashley Judd as team owner Chip Ganassi announced Tuesday he will be canning Dario’s ride due to lack of funds and a full-time sponsor.

Now allow me to be side tracked for a moment. I have to question the quality of the corporate sales representatives of Chip Ganassi Racing if they are unable to sell ample sponsorship on a car that drives in a racing series that is the most watched weekly American sporting event, like, ever.

Sure, Franchitti and the #40 team struggled to find success this year but it was not for a lack of a big-name owner or talent on Dario’s part. In fact, after being part of the winning team in the Rolex 24 at Daytona this year, Franchitti became only the third driver ever to win the Indianapolis 500, the IndyCar Championship, the 12 Hours of Sebring, and the Rolex 24 in a career behind racing greats Mario Andretti and A.J. Foyt — pretty solid company, if you ask me.

What is next for the open wheel senstation-turned-NASCAR failure, you might ask? My assumption is that he will shop around for another Sprint Cup or even Nationwide Series ride for the remainder of the 2008 season with a return to the now-unified IRL as a contingency plan for 2009 if needed.

Unfortunately for all of us this news means we won’t be seeing much of Ashley Judd in NASCAR anymore, at least for the time being, so we will just have to be content with all of the other drivers’ hot wives.

And look on the bright side, now we won’t be forced to listen to NASCAR broadcaster Larry McReynolds call Dario Franchitti, “Dario Francheatie.”

Now for gratuitous Ashely Judd pictures:


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Did You Ever Know That You’re My Heroooo

Posted by Matt on June 26, 2008

I have made it clear around these parts over the past year about what I like and what I dislike. For instance, I don’t like the Shitsburgh Steelers, the Louisville Cardinals, or Andy Katz. Conversely, some of what I do like consists of Ric Flair, Erin Andrews, beer, and this guy, John Daly. I have explained as to why I like Long John so much and why most every other blue collar golf fan likes him, too (link). He carries all of the traits that golf’s elitists hate, he’s been sponsored by Hooter’s, and he’s friendly to his fans.

But if that is not convincing enough of John Daly’s awesomeness, you’ll find no better video evidence than here. If you’re not a believer now, you’re a lost soul because at a pro-am tournament in Grand Blanc, Michigan Long John proceeds to tee off using a 24 ounce Budweiser can. And not just any Budweiser, Kid Rock’s tall boy (and I believe Kid Rock goes on to drink it).

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100 People And Events That Shaped The First Year Of TNB (30-21)

Posted by Ryne E. Hancock on June 26, 2008

30-“Notre Dame’s Lost Season” (After contending for a National Championship for most of 2006 behind the arm of Brady Quinn, the Fighting Irish fell way back to earth as they finished 3-9 and lost to the Naval Academy for the first time in 44 years.)

29-“Shock The World, Kid” (While Crichton’s basketball season ended prematurely in Nashville on March 6th against Trevecca, the softball ladies from North Highland Park made a run to the third day of the tournament in only their second year of varsity competition, where they would lose to Union University 10-1.)

28-“Tigers Bounce Back” (After doing my share of ripping the Memphis Tigers football team, they suddenly righted the ship and bounced back to a 6-2 mark in C-USA play and a 7-6 record overall as well as a berth to the New Orleans Bowl.)

27-Gamecock Sports Forum (One thing we love to do here at TNB is make friends. And apparently with Steven and the gang at GSF, as they’ve been our best friends on the Internet. And I say that in a non-homosexual way.)

26-“Some Big Sisters Have It Better Than Others” (On March 9th, my big sister Renetria turned 25 and on that same day, Drake University won the Missouri Valley Conference and the right to be in the Big Dance for the first time in 38 years.)

25-C. Trent Rosencrans (The former Cincinnati Post beat writer for the Reds, he had a profound impact on the style of writing we present to the masses each day by entertaining Reds and even Cardinal fans like myself.)

24-“The Basketball Sisterhood” (In Feburary, I wrote a column on Crichton’s biggest female basketball fans that got a lot of great feedback around campus. Too bad this was the only picture in which all of the members was in.)

23-Michael “The Great One” Sapp (Another ardent supporter of the website from North Highland Park, he is also one of the few Laker fans I can actually tolerate.)

22-“Whuh’s My Tickets?” (Bruce Pearl complained on the eve of the Tennessee-Memphis game that he couldn’t get any tickets. Obviously trying to get your freak on with Erin Andrews was the only thing that you could get out of playing the Tigers.)

21-“The Scott Rolen Era Ends In St. Louis” (After six seasons, Scott Rolen finally gets his wish and leaves town for Toronto where as I write this, is in last place in the AL East and is looking to hire Q or Sarah as their new manager for 2009.)

My time’s up. RIP George Carlin.

Doc Holliday, Jr.

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Imus Does Not Get ‘It’ But Pacman Has No Room To Talk

Posted by Matt on June 25, 2008

Resident dumbass Don Imus’ apparent disdain for African-American people has reared its ugly head yet again and, as they say, the war rages on.

A little over 14 months removed from calling the women’s Rutger’s basketball team “nappy-headed hoes,” Imus had this on-air exchange with counterpart Warner Wolf regarding troubled Dallas Cowboy Adam “Pacman” Jones:

Warner Wolf: He’s been arrested six times since being drafted by Tennesse in 2005.

Don Imus: What color is he?

Warner Wolf: He’s African-American

Don Imus: Well, there you go. Now we know.

Imus clearly uses years of journalistic integrity and brilliant logic to quickly generalize all six of Jones’ arrests in to one simple reason: he is black. Genius. Conversely, I would venture to say it has very little to do with the color of Jones’ skin and that “pure stupidity” leads the pack of possible reasons by so much that it is now lapping the others.

Don has since clarified his statements under the mask of an excuse that he was sticking up for African-Americans wrongly targeted by the law; that Jones was being picked on because he is black:

“What people should be outraged about is that they arrest blacks for no reason. There’s no reason to arrest this kid six times, I mean maybe he did something once but everybody does something once — I have. … They shoot blacks for no reason.”

Imus finally adds that Adam Jones is a “lovely” kid leaving me 100% sure that every 20-something athlete feels complimented by being deemed “lovely” and that the African-American people are fully comforted by Don Imus being their spokesman for what is fair and right within their racial concerns.

Do not get me wrong, I am a clear proponent free speech and have said, at times, many are too sensitive to what is said in the media and many are too quick to pull the “politically incorrect” card. But clearly Don Imus just does not get ‘it’.

Of course, neither does Adam “Pacman” Jones.

I believe we can all agree that Jones — a man attempting to cleanse his reputation — did not deserve to be mistreated on-air for seemingly no other reason than the color of his skin.

“I’m truly upset about the comments. Obviously Mr. Imus has problems with African-Americans. I’m upset, and I hope the station he works for handles it accordingly. I will pray for him.”

Jones has all the right in the world to be upset and his reserve under the circumstances is commendable, but Adam offering to pray for Imus when he has had plenty of his own issues that are in dire need of prayer is a small example of the same hypocrisy I hate about Imus.

Clearly Jones is oblivious to the fact that we are all very tired of seeing him get arrested. I am reminded of a scene in the movie Liar Liar where Jim Carrey’s character — a lawyer — can no longer tell lies and is informed by his secretary that a client seeking legal advice has robbed another ATM, this time at knife point, to which Jim Carrey’s character responds by screaming in to the phone:


Linkage:, FanHouse, &

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A Call To Arms

Posted by Matt on June 24, 2008

Our good friend Matt — or Indiana Matt — over at Licensed To Blog recently tagged The Nasty Boys in a viral post that each author is permitted to put his or her own spin on. Because we support the endeavors of those who support us we would not think twice about participating.

The Rules:

  • Write your own six word memoir.
  • Post it to your blog including a visual illustration if you would like.
  • Link to the person who tagged you in your post and to this original post if possible so we can track it as it travels across the blogosphere.
  • Tag 5 more blogs with links.
  • Don’t forget to leave a comment in the tagged blogs with an invitation to play.

I felt inclined to go ahead and take on this task in honor of The Nasty Boys Sports Blog, being this site’s charter member, and I pray that I do not disappoint. It took me eight words to say what most are saying in six and I know many will reference the rules and say that I have failed in this task; however, when I read “six word” I interpreted “eight word” so deal with it.

Without further ado, my six eight word memoir (with photo illustration):

Life, liberty, and the pursuit of another beer.

And there you have it, in all of six eight words I did my part in this interesting internet experiment, albeit bending the rules along the way. Below are the five blogs that fulfill my obligation to finishing the job, but even if your blog has not been tagged here — or anywhere — feel free to copy and paste the rules from here (because let’s face it, that’s exactly what I did) and participate along with us.

The Blogs (Friends) I’ve Tagged:

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100 People And Events That Shaped The First Year Of TNB (40-31)

Posted by Ryne E. Hancock on June 23, 2008

40-Jasmine Scudder

39-“The Georgia Gang” (While NASCAR had the Alabama Gang, Crichton’s basketball program had the Georgia Gang that consisted of Michael Sapp, Stanley Brownlee, Slim Wimbush, and Sly Watkins, Jr., all of whom had ties to the Peach State.)

38-“CDR’s Finest Moment” (In the national semifinals, Chris Douglas-Roberts made a statement by dunking on UCLA’s Kevin Love. In the process, Love seeks out the guidance of Dr. Chris Scott for self-esteem issues.)

Brittney Davis, Bradley Greer, Ginny Galloway May 7, 2008

37Bradley Greer (The only Vol fan I can tolerate.)

36-“Florida State Football: Portrait of Dishonesty” (You know its bad when half of your team gets busted for cheating on a final before a bowl game against Kentucky.)

35-“Mama Lisa” (In the early days of my coverage of sports here in North Highland Park, one of my first supporters and second moms around North Highland Park was “Mama Lisa”. Obviously I spent more time getting advice from her on girls to life after college than I did in class.)

34-Matt “The Colonel” Sanders (Another early supporter of the blog in North Highland Park who later pleaded with me to be on my best behavior when I started doing announcing for softball games and said that I should do a reality show concerning my book.)

33-“Did You Guys Show Up?” (Days after Fisk’s women lost bad in a basketball game against Lipscomb, the Fisk men did one better by getting blown out by Crichton in Nashville. When Fisk played in Memphis in January, the team got confused and lost on their way to the gym.)

32-“Whatever Happened To Mental Intensity?” (Towards the end of the basketball season, I decided to face shortstop Aimee Grissom in a game of basketball. Apparently I didn’t have a clue on how to stop her shot.)

31-“What A Way To Fall To Earth” (After making the NCAA Regionals in 2008, the Memphis Tigers baseball team went back to their own losing ways. Don’t worry, I may try and see if I can make a power move over on campus about their baseball program.)

My time’s up. You’ve been a great audience.

Doc Holliday, Jr.

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Tiger Woods Is Inhuman

Posted by Matt on June 18, 2008

The legend is growing by the hour, only days after the man they call Tiger gutted out a one stroke, playoff victory over Rocco Mediate in the U.S. Open that included 91 holes of golf.

Woods had arthroscopic knee surgery on April 15, 2008 and had not played a full round of 18 in two months when he laced up his Nike golf cleats on Day One of the championship of this great nation. After grinding out a victory while wincing along the way, speculation began to rise regarding the severity of Tiger’s injury.

But then came the news. The news that Woods would be ending the season to undergo a third operation on the notorious left knee. Surprisingly enough, that wasn’t the surprising part.

Woods said on his Web site that he will have surgery on his anterior cruciate ligament. He also wrote that he needs time to rehabilitate a double stress fracture of his left tibia, which he said was discovered just before the Memorial Tournament in late May.

And he revealed that he originally ruptured the ACL in 2007 while running at his home in Orlando after the British Open. He said he decided not to have surgery at that point, and he went on to win five of the next six events he entered (through his Target World Challenge in December).

If Tiger Woods’ domination was not demoralizing enough already, the revelations that came to quiet the critics of the legitimacy of his pain is salt to the wounds of all those unable to conquer the number one golfer in the world. Woods has won 11 of the last 14 events that he has entered worldwide, including a streak at one time of nine in a row, while finishing second twice and fifth once in the only three events he entered in that he did not win during that stretch.

Tiger won the U.S. Open a mere two months after arthroscopic knee surgery and a diagnosis of a double stress fracture in his left tibia a month later, as well as while playing on an ACL that has been ruptured since late July of last year. Yet a wounded Woods could not, and would not, be stopped. Not even by medical professionals.

“The week of Memorial [two weeks before the Open], I thought there was no chance he could play,” Haney said in a telephone interview from his home in Texas. “The doctors told him he needed to be on crutches for three weeks and then three more weeks of inactivity, and then you start rehabbing.

“But Tiger looked the guy in the eye and said, ‘I’m playing in the U.S. Open and I’m going to win.’ Then he started putting on his shoes and told me we’re going to go practice. It’s just incredible.”

Woods, bum knee and all, was even bold enough to privately predict a victory in the U.S. Open with a truncated training regiment and a disbelieving swing coach.

Haney said the extent of Woods’ preparation for the U.S. Open was hitting four or five practice balls at a time before heading back to a golf cart.

“He couldn’t walk,” Haney said. “The 50 balls I’m talking about him hitting included the first 15 warm-up wedges. You’re talking about 30 full swings a day.”

“Tiger has such an incredible pain tolerance,” Haney said. “When he said he was going to play, I knew he was going to play. The thing that concerned me most was, was he going to be able to walk? Was it just going to deteriorate so much that he wasn’t going to be able to swing at all?

“And that didn’t take into account the issue that he hadn’t had any preparation. He didn’t get to play. He didn’t get to do anything. That was the concern. But Tiger has such an incredible pain tolerance.”

“In my mind, I honestly thought he was just going to give it his best effort, his 100 percent best effort all the way up until the tournament. I knew he wasn’t going to bag it two weeks before. He was going to hope for a miracle until the last possible point that he couldn’t make it. In my mind, that was the most likely scenario: He just would try until the end and then come to the realization that he couldn’t go. When he canceled out of the Memorial, he was in real bad shape then. He couldn’t have played in the U.S. Open then. He couldn’t even move.”

When Earl Woods says that he used to tell Tiger he’ll never find anyone more mentally tough than he is during the newest Nike commercial, it is hard not to believe him. When Tiger says he’s taking the rest of the 2008 season off for rehabilitation yet swing coach Hank Haney says he’ll be “better than ever” upon his return, it is hard not to believe him. Yet it is hard not to believe that the ten month hiatus is actually to allow Woods to fly back to his home planet of Krypton, recharging his powers.

Because in this world, Tiger Woods is inhuman.

Linkage: &

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100 People And Events That Shaped The First Year Of TNB (50-41)

Posted by Ryne E. Hancock on June 18, 2008

50-“The Miracle on Vance” (Days after a big win against Martin Methodist, Crichton’s Derek Boykin hits a game-winner with less than 2 seconds to go in a home game against Lyon College to continue their longest winning streak of the year.)

49-“Kansas Is A Football School?” (For the first time in my basic lifetime the Jayhawks were playing meaningful games in November. Apparently six months later, I began to resent anything and anyone from the state of Kansas.)

48-“Orange Crushed” (For the first time in the 99-year history of Tennessee basketball, the Volunteers earned a #1 ranking. However, it would be short-lived as Vanderbilt welcomed the Vols to Memorial Gym and quickly humbled them.)

47-“Praying For Doc Hancock” (In 1952, people in Brooklyn prayed for Gil Hodges to break out of his slump in the 1952 World Series. In 2008, people in North Highland Park prayed for me to get a very cute softball player’s number before school let out.)

46-“Crank That Georgia Bulldogs” (In the first quarter of their annual game against Florida, the Georgia Bulldogs decided to celebrate their touchdown by running out on the field and getting a lion’s share of excessive celebration penalties.)

45“Q, The Blue Eyed Princess”

44-“25th Avenue South Blues” (In one of the most lopsided wins for Vanderbilt basketball when, on Feb 12th, Kentucky walked into Memorial Gym and received a woodshed beating at the hands of the Commodores, its worst SEC loss in their long and storied history.)

43-“The Midnight Massacre 2008 Edition” (After beating the Angels on Monday night, the New York Mets decides to fire manager Willie Randolph in the middle of the night. And Wednesday morning I woke up finding out that my cell phone services was suspended until I pay $80.53.)

42-“Jackson, Tennessee Times Two” (Not long after moving to my apartment, the “Basketball Brotherhood decided that they liked the city of Jackson, Tennessee so much that they wanted to play there twice in one week. Too bad they left the city with losses to both Lambuth and Union.)

41-“Digging Big Papi” (On the construction site of the new Yankee Stadium, a Red Sox fan decides to place a curse on the Yankees by digging a David Ortiz jersey in the ground. Sadly, the Yankees figured that one curse was enough to endure.)

My time’s up. You’ve been a great audience. Donate money to the “Help Me Get My Phone Back On” fund so I can get it back on before the Fourth.

Doc Holliday Jr.

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100 People And Events That Shaped The First Year Of TNB (60-51)

Posted by Ryne E. Hancock on June 17, 2008

60-“Go And Get Your Money, Bobby P.” (What do you do after inheriting a mess in Atlanta? You run like Bobby Petrino and take a job with the Arkansas Razorbacks as their new head football coach and get called everything but a child of God by your former players in Atlanta.)

59-“Our Mess Is Your Mess And Your Mess Alone” (Recently, New York Mets manager Willie Randolph accused SNY, which broadcasts Met games of being racist in their coverage of him. Well, blowing a seven-game lead wasn’t racist, was it?”)

58-Kenisha Banks (One of North Highland Park’s biggest basketball fans and best female pool players, she along with her cousin, who was number 66 on the list, made my job of writing sports columns in North Highland Park a whole lot easier throughout the school year.)

57-“I’m A Damn Good Coach” (Hours before LSU was to play Tennessee, Les Miles emphasized that he was a damn good coach and was staying put at LSU despite rumors of him jumping ship for Michigan to replace Lloyd Carr. Which he actually did.)

56-“RIP Cincinnati Post” (On the final day of 2007, we reached 100,000 hits while in Cincinnati, a 126-year tradition ended as the Cincinnati Post published its final edition.)

55-“Snowballs In St. Louis” (When the “Basketball Brotherhood” made a stop in St. Louis, the city and the entire area was covered knee deep in snow. Obviously, after shootaround on the campus of Harris-Stowe State University, it was enough snow for us to have a snowfight.)

54-Josh Helton (Todd Helton’s little brother, who was at Trevecca last year breaking hearts here in North Highland Park as one of the best players in the TransSouth Conference. Too bad he had a nutjob for a dad.)

53-“The Cruelest Thing You Could Do” (After being released by the Padres, Jim Edmonds decides to pay a debt back to Satan and my friend Amanda by playing for the Cubs.)

52-Kyle “The Golden Child” O’Neil

51-“Scooop” (While “Scoop” may be one of the best nicknames ever for an athlete, former Crichton softball player Ashley Smith carried that nickname well here in North Highland Park, all the way to a degree and probably enough knowledge of Vol football to become athletic director in Knoxville.)

My time’s up. You’ve been a great audience.

Doc Holliday, Jr.

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100 People And Events That Shaped The First Year Of TNB (70-61)

Posted by Ryne E. Hancock on June 12, 2008

As you know, June marks our first anniversary as “The Nasty Boys”, so in honor of that, I’ll be presenting my list of 100 people and events that made our first year enjoyable as your morning laugh after a bad hangover:

70-John Tibbits (On this site, Matt talks a lot about how much he supports the troops and with regard to that, I had to mention my predecessor as student basketball assistant, John Tibbits, who is now serving in the National Guard as I write this and is the only Patriots fan I can tolerate.)

69-“5 Gummi Bears A Day Keeps The Doctor Away” (During the Tigers’ run in the NCAA Tournament, freshman phenom Derrick Rose had a bad stomach ache due to excessive consumption of candy. If only he had saved it for the offseason.)

68-“Another Improbable Bunch Of Cardinals” (After witnessing my beloved Cardinals win the 2006 World Series, almost a year later, the Louisville Cardinals would make their own magical run to the 2007 College World Series, their first in school history by beating Missouri and Oklahoma State.

67-Will “The General” (Ever wonder who “The General” was? Well, like Matt, he’s a proud graduate of the University of Kentucky who makes his late-night weekend comments on here during the football season.) (Matt’s Note: I think The General also makes every attempt to give me hell on a weekly basis.)

66-Brittanee McCaster (On the final day before Fall Break, my friend Brittanee (pictured on the left) shocked the entire campus in North Highland Park by beating me in pool. Not long after that, I decided to start an award for the upset of the week in college football and name it honor of her.)

65-“Don’t Touch My President” (In a year that saw a lot of mayhem on and off the bench in North Highland Park, the last one was out of left field as at the end of the final regular season home game when Freed-Hardeman coach Jason Shelton and Coach Walker got into a brouhahaha. The interesting thing is the notable quote from Coach Walker, “Don’t touch my president!!!!”)

64-“Let A Light Shine On You” (During the Tigers’ second round game against Mississippi State, Joey Dorsey is greeted by a shining beacon of light while shooting a free throw.)

63-“Lloyd’s Last Call” (For all intents and purposes, after I ripped Lloyd Carr in September of last year, I couldn’t help myself but to be proud of the way he went out against the Gators in the Capitol One Bowl.)

62-“Reality Check” (Days after the devastation caused by the tornadoes in Jackson, Tennessee, Crichton’s basketball team made a trip through the city to see the devastation firsthand en route to a game with Mid-Continent.)

61-Zarko Brankovic (That picture explains everything.)

My time’s up. You’ve been a great audience.

Senator Ryne E. “Doc” Hancock

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100 People And Events That Shaped The First Year Of TNB (80-71)

Posted by Ryne E. Hancock on June 6, 2008

80-“Dyersburg’s Gift To North Highland Park’s Freak Accident” (Not too long after the freak accident that occurred when yours truly was hit by a pitch in between a softball doubleheader, Dyersburg native and soccer player Bradley Greer would have an accident that to this very day is still a mystery here in North Highland Park.)

79-“We Got That Wood” (Houston Nutt and running back Darren McFadden leads the Razorbacks to an upset win over top-ranked LSU. In the postgame interview, Darren McFadden holds up a two-by-four and proclaims, “We got that wood!!!”)

78-“The Year of Shan Foster” (Lost in the shuffle of Derrick Rose and Chris Lofton, Vanderbilt’s Shan Foster had a season to remember in Nashville. Averaging a shade over 20 points a game, Foster helped the Commodores to the most wins by a Vanderbilt squad in 107 years of basketball. Too bad it went for naught as they were upended by Siena in the first round.)

77-“Hey, You’re That Guy From The Saw Movies” (For all intents and purposes, Union basketball coach Ralph Turner was not the guy that said, “Cherish your life.”)

76-“The Pau Gasol Trade” (A year removed from almost bolting for Chicago, Grizzles forward Pau Gasol traded BBQ for Jack Nicholson. Now the Grizzles are smarting themselves from another lottery screwjob and Gasol is in the Finals.)

75-“Stan The Man, Meet Stan Brownlee” (In 1948, St. Louis Cardinals great Stan Musial won the National League’s MVP award. 60 years later, Stan Brownlee would become Crichton’s all-time leading scorer on March 1st against Freed-Hardeman)

74-“White Suits After Labor Day” (To participate in Louisville’s “White-Out”, Rick Pitino decides to join in the fun by wearing a white suit. But after a shitty start, he decides to break out the navy suit in the second half against UCONN which later on paid off.)

73“Dream Game It Wasn’t” (Given the fact that Lil’ Wayne wasn’t performing at the the Super Bowl, softball player and fellow senator Jasmine Scudder decided to have us play basketball in the gym here in North Highland Park. Of course, the shame of that evening was the upstaging of our team by two hot chicks, one of which humiliated a certain sportswriter not too long after.)

72-“East Meets West” (Eastern Kentucky and Western Kentucky decides after a long time of not playing each other in football to renew their rivalry. Right now a bunch of hicks are celebrating this over a quart of bourbon.)

71-“We Serve To Not Win” (Crichton’s first season of volleyball was deemed to be a bit of struggle, but because of the addition of former Tiger volleyball player Kelsey Watson and Jayne Moonmen, the fortunes of volleyball here in North Highland Park will most likely change for the better.)

My time’s up. You’ve been a great audience.


Senator Doc Hancock

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