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Let The Bears Quarterback Carousel Continue

Posted by Bob Swerski on December 14, 2007

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I have awakened from my drunken slumber and have made my return to TNB. This weekend we will see the return of KYLE ORTON, a quarterback who has complied a nice record by simply taking the snap and not really beating himself, allowing the Bears defense and special teams to win games. Let us review the troubled history of the Bears QB Carousel, starting with 1983… the year I was born.

Jim McMahon: Probably the second best quarterback ever to suit up in a Bears uniform after Sid Luckman. The Punky QB was somewhat injury prone but did lead the Bears to the promised land in 1985. McMahon is the only Bears quarterback to be selected to the Pro Bowl in recent memory, which says a lot about the people to come after him. DRAFTED:1982 (Round 1). STARTED: 1982-1988. TRADED: 1989

Steve Fuller: Picked up by the Bears from the L.A. Rams to sub in for the often injured McMahon.  He was a decent back up behind McMahon, but then again with Walter Payton at running back I could be a decent back up. PICKED UP:1984. STARTED: 1984-1986. RELEASED: 1987.

Rusty Lisch: Sucked big time. He started only 1 game against the Packers and was so terrible that Ditka had to sign Greg Landry from the retirement home to play the final game of the season. SIGNED: 1984. STARTED: 1984. RELEASED:1985

Greg Landry: Threw 3 picks in his 1 game as a Bear, but he won, beating the Lions to finish off the season. SIGNED: 1984. STARTED: 1984. RETIRED: 1984.

Mike Tomczak: Many of TNB fans might remember this choad who came out of OSU. He was signed as an undrafted free agent and played mostly back up behind a slew of different quarterbacks. He is best known for warming up Jim Harbaugh’s nutsack before Jim took the field. SIGNED: 1985. STARTED: 1986-1990. PUT TO TRASH BIN: 1991.

Doug Flutie: Apparently he didn’t eat his Flutie flakes before playing for the Bears. Ditka started him 1 game against the Washington Redskins… which he lost. It is good to know that his final play in the NFL was when he drop-kicked an extra point. What a loser. TRADED FOR: 1986. STARTED: 1986. TRADED: 1987.

Jim Harbaugh: Is the Bears leader in pass attempts, completions, and second to Luckman in passing yards. Upon being released and then signing with the Indianapolis Colts he was quickly picked for the Pro Bowl. DRAFTED: 1987 (Round 1). STARTED: 1988-1993. RELEASED: 1994.

Peter Tom Willis: SUCKED! Threw 8 interceptions in 2 games during back up duty for Jim Harbaugh. DRAFTED: 1990 (Round 3). STARTED: 1992-1993. RELEASED: 1994.

Will Furrer: Started Ditka’s last game as Bears coach. He completed 9 of 25 passes for 89 yards and three interceptions. DRAFTED: 1992 (Round 4). STARTED: 1992. RELEASED 1993.

Erik Kramer: Thought to be the Bears savior at QB if he could last more then 1 season. He set Bear’s single season records in just about every category in 1995, but injury and terrible play would follow him the rest of his career. SIGNED: 1994. STARTED: 1994-1998. RELEASED:1999.

Steve Walsh: Guided the team to it’s first first playoff appearance since 1991 during his back up work in 1994. After that, he basically rode the pine during the rest of his Bears stint. SIGNED: 1994. STARTED: 1994. LEFT TOWN: 1996.

Dave Krieg: The Bears decided to pick up this grandfather and let him play. He wasn’t a very mobile QB due to his limited walking ability (having to use a walker really slows you down). He was so old that the college he played for no longer had a football program when he started for the Bears. SINGED: 1996. STARTED:1996. LEFT FOR NURSING HOME: 1997.

Rick Mirer: Holy hell, this task of talking about terrible QB’s is getting exhausting.  The Bears traded a first round pick for this ass-bag. After 1 of the worst seasons in QB history he was run out of town. Thanks a lot Dave Wannstedt. TRADED FOR: 1997. STARTED: 1997. MURDERED BY FANS: 1998.

This is going to take forever, so I will simply just list the remaining QB’s in order of succession. If you’d like more info you can simply e-mail me or look them up. Steve Stenstrom (1998), Moses Moreno (1998), Shane Matthews (1999-2001), Cade McNown (1999-2000), Jim Miller (1999-2002), Chris Chandler (2002-2003), Henry Burris (2002), Kordell Stewart (2003), Jonathan Quinn (2004), Craig Krenzel ( 2004), Chad Hutchinson (2004), Kyle Orton (2005, 2007), Rex Grossman (2003-2007), Brian Griese (2007).

There you have it, 27 different Quarterbacks since I have been born. The best part about this: the Bears have no promising QB’s to start next year so this number could jump up to 30 after next season. For all you Cheeseheads out there: since Brett Farve has started, the Bears have made 49 different changes to the QB position consisting of 21 different people.

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3 Responses to “Let The Bears Quarterback Carousel Continue”

  1. Damn……………………that’s a lot of turnover.

  2. Matt said

    Colin Powell – 68%

    BAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Its the eyebrows, gotta be.

  3. Ya, the Bears pretty much suck the balls. My favorite has to be that Katherine Heigl is first on the list.

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