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Who Wants To Be A Commissioner?

Posted by Charlie Hustle on August 2, 2007

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“The Nasty Boys” would like to introduce the new running blog:

Who has the worst commissioner job?

We will consistently update the three commissioners’ problems and their recent scandals.

We would also encourage you to VOTE for the worst commish job in the COMMENTS SECTION.

The Candidates:

Bud Selig – Bud Selig, the former owner of the Milwaukee Brewers and idolizer of Home Run King Hank Aaron, has announced that he will be following the next games of Barry Bonds. He made the following statement…

“Out of respect for the tradition of this game, the magnitude of the record, and the fact that all citizens in this country are innocent until proven guilty, I will attend Barry Bonds’ next games to observe his potential tying and breaking of the home run record, subject to my commitments to the Hall of Fame this weekend.”


The heat on Bonds officially turned up a notch when the book, “Game of Shadows” came out, extensively describing Bonds’ and others’ steroid use through BALCO. Selig’s comment at the time of the book?…

“It was worse than I thought.”

With Federal indictments on hold due to Bonds’ trainer Greg Anderson refusing to testify and sitting in jail in contempt (and collecting checks from Bonds while in the clink), Selig’s only course was to hire former Senator George Mitchell to lead a weak investigation of players “volunteering” information.

So now Bud Selig has to fly to San Francisco and pretend to celebrate the most celebrated record in sports, held by his childhood hero, and about to be broken by a guy with a 9 3/4 inch head and shoes bigger than Shaq’s.

David Stern – After looking like someone had just run over his dog in his latest press conference, David Stern is embroiled in one of the NBA’s biggest scandals in its history.

Currently, Stern is the longest tenured and probably most powerful commissioner in American sports, serving as commissioner for the last 23 years. However, this didn’t stop Tim Donaghy from betting on games, apparently desperate for money after losing to “mobbed-up” sports bookies.

Stern commented, “I can tell you that this is the most serious situation and worst situation that I have ever experienced either as a fan of the NBA, a lawyer for the NBA or a commissioner of the NBA.”

Not only is the integrity of the NBA highly in doubt at this point, but Donaghy’s games can be re-watched and analyzed, questioned about whether the fix was in or not. Every questionable call from now on in any NBA game will now be heckled by fans, “HEY DONAGHY! HOW MUCH DO YOU HAVE ON THIS ONE?!?!?”

The most damning evidence was that as late as 2005, Donaghy was being investigated for gambling. Stern claimed he couldn’t answer the obvious question as to why this wasn’t addressed sooner, saying that the FBI specifically asked him not to comment on the investigation….

Meanwhile, Stern is stuck having to answer questions on the very essence and integrity of his game.

Roger Goodell – After suspending Chris Henry and PacMan Jones under the new Player Behavior Policy, all seemed calm on the homefront for Roger Goodell. As Charles Barkley said,

“Pacman and Henry, man they is habitual fools!”

Now that Vick has been indicted on ‘Federal Dog Genocide’ charges, it would appear that the second coming of the OJ trial is on our hands. A few years earlier, Vick had signed the largest contract in NFL history, becoming the face for the league. Now, we’re a few more damning charges from a high-speed chase in a white Bronco, with Al Cowlings calling in to the police….

“This is A.C.! I got O.J., I mean Vick, in the car! (pause) This is A.C.! You know who this is, —damnit!”

Even Arthur Blank, noted Vick apologist, referred to him only as “the player” in his latest press conference, noting that the “player” was referenced 50 times in his indictment. 50 TIMES! Considering that 95% of Federal indictments are successful in their prosecution, it’s amazing that some people are still holding on to the “innocent until proven guilty” defense.

As Colin Cowherd noted something along these lines, “This is the NFL. Not a court. If a reasonable person can look at the evidence and decide that he is clearly guilty, then we as REASONABLE people don’t have to rely on courts that drag out for years and years.”

So now America’s most popular sport is in the news for one of its most popular players electrocuting and mass murdering dogs. Talk about ruining the momentum leading into NFL training camp. Worse yet, Goodell had to hire ex-FBI and ex-CIA agents to dig up some “indisputable facts” that would allow them to suspend Vick indefinitely without going through the courts.





Charlie Hustle


8 Responses to “Who Wants To Be A Commissioner?”

  1. Charlie Hustle said

    I vote for Stern. It’s one thing to have idiot players, it’s another to have games fixed. It’s a tough call though.

  2. Matt said

    I am going with David Stern and here is why:

    Right now, the easiest is Bud Selig’s. At some point (i.e. Hall of Fame ceremonies), he can find some excuse to get out of going to watch Bonds play and then he doesn’t even have to deal with it. Furthermore, as they say: any publicity is good publicity. More people are probably watching baseball now since the 1998 McGwire/Sosa season. The majority hates Bonds and doesn’t want to see him do it, but everybody is watching to see if he when he will break the record and to see what he’ll do/say next. In three or four years, nobody will be pissed off about Barry anymore and the talk will have moved to “How long until A-Rod breaks Barry’s record?” — A-Rod will finish with roughly 520 home runs by the end of this season and in fourr years will be approaching Wille Mays on the all time home run list (660) and Bonds will be a thing of the past.

    For Roger Goodell, his situation is tough and this is amidst Pacman Jones and all of the Bengals constantly being in trouble as well. This all gives a black eye to our Nation’s most popular professional sports league. However, Goodell has two huge outs: (a) put this on Arthur Blank’s shoulders or (b) use his already stated crazy-strict policies and just kick Vick’s ass out of the league. This isn’t really a situation of “any publicity is good publicity” like baseball, however, Goodell is quite the sheriff and will have this cleaned up rather quickly. This has absolutely no affect on the integrity of the game, and at the end of the day, that’s all die-hard fans care about. I am a Bengals fan, I could careless about Vick.

    Now, why is Sterns the worst?

    This has huge implications for integrity and will have long term fiscal consequences; this could be the death of the league. The integrity of so much will be called in to question because this situation actually affects the games and their outcomes, and casual fans no longer trust that the outcome is based purely on competition. Declining fan base means declining revenue and it snow balls from there. Stern’s problem directly affects the outcomes of games far more than either of the two aforementioned problems (San Francisco is 42-57, good enough for DEAD LAST in the N.L. West – Bonds’ ‘roids aren’t producing illegitimate victories).

    Another vote for David Stern as having the worst job as a league commissioner.

  3. Condo said

    Matt pretty much summed it up as to why Stern has the worst job as a league commissioner. The NBA doesn’t draw the kind of pub it used to back in the 1980s and the early/mid part of the 1990s. Sure, Goddell has it rough with all the idiot NFL players (someone please explain to me why Goddell denied Odell Thurman’s reinstatement?!?) and Selig has to deal with the steroids issue. But having to deal with the fact that your league is rigged and has been rigged for a while now (if you ask me) and now there’s finally proof to it?? Wow, I can’t imagine how hard that’s gonna have to be for Stern.

    So my vote goes to David Stern

  4. Charlie Hustle said

    Well since we’re 3/3 on Stern, I think I’m gonna change my vote to Bud Selig…

    The main reason being that although the referree could have fixed games, it would appear on the surface that this is an isolated incident. And while the total points outcome could have been changed by Donaghy, it would have been almost impossible to dictate the winners of games – which is not in dispute.

    However, in Major League Baseball, the steroids epidemic wasn’t just an isolated incident like ref betting or dog fighting, but was estimated by Buster Olney up to around 40% of the players used steroids. Media members even call it the “Steroids Era.”

    Not only have their been federal indictments for the steroid makers, but there have been Senatorial hearings where multiple players had to testify.

    Unlike Michael Vick or Tim Donaghy, Bud Selig can’t even publicly declare him a cheater or bad for the game. He even has to CHEER for him while he breaks what is considered the most important record in sports.

    The steroids scandal spreads way beyond Barry Bonds. Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa were applauded as saving baseball after it the strike, yet McGwire can’t even get 30% of the HOF vote and Sosa is over 600 HRs and won’t sniff the HOF. Almost every great hitter in the last 10-15 years has to be at least considered for steroid use.

    Worse yet, is the fact that so many players admitted to using steroids because there was no testing for it. With shortstops and second basemen weighing in at 225+lbs., nobody bothered to even think twice. This makes it impossible for anyone to know who took steroids, since they were never tested for it. Who gets into the Hall of Fame? What records actually count? None of these questions can be answered.

    The reason I’m changing my vote is because the “isolation” factor of ONE player like Vick or ONE referree like Donaghy. When numbers such as 40% of players using steroids are used, and not only federal indictments but Senate hearings are being used, AND the fact that Selig has to cheer Bonds and not denounce him, I change my vote to Bud Selig.

  5. Matt said

    Great thoughts, Josh. That is the problem with this debate, you can make such a convincing argument for any of the three…

  6. eric said


    First of all, Goodell has the best job in the world. Also, unlike the others, he is competent. I met him. He is mroe concerned with the future of the league, therefore, he does not turn a blind eye to thug behavior, aka baseball and basketball.

    I also wrote a column today about the Michael Vick situation. I am NFL obsessed, hence the column.

    If you like the column, let me know if you are up to a link exchange, since I get some pretty decent traffic.

    Also, I am competing at the bloggers choice awards, although not in the sports category.


  7. Since Jordan retired for the second time in 1999, the NBA has failed in some aspects to find a marketable superstar that can put butts in seats. Outside of LeBron and before his rape charges, Kobe Bryant, name one player that appealed to the mainstream that didn’t get in some stupid shit since Jordan’s second retirement.

    And although David Stern has done everything in his tenure as commissioner of the NBA to increase revenue as well as the visibilty of the league increased to places like Canada, China, Spain, and what have you, his desire to change the thug-like image of the league by implementing a dress code to make the league more corporate and appealing to Madison Avenue has all but backfired.

    Let’s not forget, when the Nuggets and Knicks brawled in December of last year, we were still dealing with the effects of the Pacers-Pistons brawl and with both brawls, it made the league as well as Stern look bad because of the imagery those brawls presented.

    And with Tim Donaghy allegedly fixing games right up under his nose, it’s easy to say that Stern is the worst commissioner right now in sports because to him, money is more important than character and integrity, which actually mean the same thing.

  8. Bob Swerski said

    It is easy to point the finger, but if you want to talk about integrity issues, baseball is by far the worst. Baseball is a game that has a long tradition of cheating or trying to get an un-natural advantage. Steriods aside, there have always been cases of corked bats, pitchers doctoring baseballs, Pete Rose betting on the game, The Black Sox giving away the World Series, sign stealing from people inside of the scoreboard at Wrigley, and any other way someone can get an unfair advantage over the other team or make some cash.
    The fact that cheating is almost intertwined with baseball probably makes it easier to be Bud Selig. Which is why I’m going with Goodell, mostly because there are many players in the league who aren’t really looking for unfair advantages but are just trashy human beings. It is hard to work with those kinda of players and it reflects worse on the league.

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