The Sports Shorts – 6th Edition
Posted by Matt on July 3, 2007
– A few days ago, “The Nasty Boys'” very own “Charlie Hustle” did a tribute to baseball mustaches in his article Charlie’s Sports Notes on the heels of the recent death of former major-leaguer Rod Beck. We now only have one question left:
What is the greatest sport-related disguise of all time?
“The Groucho Marx”
Bobby Valentine, Manager- New York Mets (while trying to return to the dugout after being ejected from a Mets’ game)
“The Black Wyatt Earp”
Snoop Dogg, Rapper – The Streets Of Compton (at the Stanley Cup Playoffs)
And oh, hey, young Snoop, 1991 called and wants “The Fresh Prince’s” hairstyle back:
– The Cincinnati Reds finally decided to fire manager Jerry Narron after the Reds moved to 31-51 in a loss to the Saint Louis Cardinals. Phew, I was beginning to think that we waited too long to pull the trigger on this one and would be too far behind to catch up. Good thing General Manager Wayne Krivsky made the move when he did, it is like “rope-a-doping” and now we have the National League Central right where we want them……………………….
– Alex Rodriguez’s wife was recently seen at a New York Yankees game wearing a shirt with the words “F*** You” written on it:
The picture is now circulating the tabloids (in a similar manner as did the photograph of A-Rod with a female escort did just weeks ago) and one can only assume what was written on the shirt, however, what was said does not concern me. What I am more concerned about is the fact that the New York City pressure is starting to get to Mrs. Rodriguez as she doesn’t seem to be aging very well from the profile view. Come on, A-Rod…
…This guy: Is pulling this:
You’re a 31-year-old superstar with a gozillion-dollar contract (thanks goes to fellow ‘gozillionaire,’ Forrest Gump for that one) and you’re now best known for a few tabloid photographs. I am starting to feel for A-Rod but one can only assume that this fold out might have something to do with it:
– The “Extreme Douche Award” from the NBA Draft goes to this guy, and no, I am not talking about David Stern:
This photo was featured on the gameshow “You Choose The Douche.” This one’s a toughie though, I know. God speed, Chicago fans.
– Seattle Mariners’ Manager Mike Hargrove recently resigned from the organization after 35 years in professional baseball. The Pacific Northwest holds proverbial collective breath for a Junior, A-Rod, “Sweet Lou,” reunion (if you have to look up those people, the reference is lost on you).
– In their first big move of the offseason, the Los Angeles Lakers gave a 6-year, $30million dollar extension to Luke Walton. Boy, that was just the offseason effort Kobe Bryant was looking for, now he’ll really want to stay!! WAY TO GO, MITCH KUPCHAK!!
Yes, that is Luke Walton…and yes, he IS being smooched by Karl Malone and Horace Grant. Believe you me, Kobe CAN’T WAIT until the 2007-2008 season!
– Six-time Nathan’s hot dog eating champion, Takeru Kobayashi, has been diagnosed with jaw pain that limits how far he can open his mouth and with the annual July 4th competition only a day away, this could possibly end his reign as champion. This diagnosis for Kobayashi, a professional eater, is the equivalent of a prostitute receiving the same news; for both, it limits the intake of weiners.
Carson Palmer was unavailable for comment:
And that’s a wrap.
“The Sports Shorts”
This entry was posted on July 3, 2007 at 7:01 AM and is filed under General Sports. Tagged: AUTHOR:MJ, The Sports Shorts. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.
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