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NBA Finals: 4th Game. 4th Quarter. Liveblog.

Posted by Matt on June 14, 2007

donyell-marshall.jpg

I hope I don’t get kicked out of the game for this…

Alright folks, I am nearly two-thirds through my twelve pack of Bud Dry and comfortably planted at my desk. That’s right, I found Bud Dry in a whole-in-the-wall Krogers in Lexington, Kentucky. The born on date: May 15th, which happens to be my birthday. Coincidence? I think not. …And to think, I didn’t even know they made this shit anymore…

End of third quarter, Jeff Van Gundy becomes the only reason worth watching the game:

(Regarding being a part of the lowest scoring finals in history, the 1999 NBA Finals where the San Antonio Spurs defeated Van Gundy’s New York Knicks)

“We were ATROCIOUS on offense that year. But these guys (Cavaliers), they make us look like the Phoenix Suns.” – Jeff Van Gundy

Start of 4th Quarter: Spurs 60 – Cavs 52

11:26- Donyell Marshall misses a 3-point shot. I am convinced Donyell “Cupcakes” Marshall hasn’t hit a 3-point shot the entire playoffs. It is a good thing he is training to be a Benihana chef (see above).  Maybe he can show us how you flip a shrimp up with the spatula and catch it in the little chef hat…

9:50- Timeout Spurs. Somehow the Cavs rolled off four unanswered points, probably the most unanswered points the Cavs have scored all series. This is apparently cause for concern?

9:45- Offensive foul against the Spurs. Mike Breen, (as camera frames Coach Popovich),: “Popovich is concerned.” Yeah, Popovich is concerned about as much as I would be if I woke up one morning and the New York Times’ headline was ‘Canada Invades United States.’ Give me a break.

9:06- Donyell Marshall grabs a defensive rebound! Wait, he throws it in the stands, nevermind.

8:34- LeBron James knocks down a jumper. Haven’t been able to say that much as he is still only 5-21. Cavs are within 1-point and it is getting dangerously close to looking like I will have to suffer through this shit again on Sunday.

7:53- Cavs take their first lead in the second half of any game this series on a LeBron James layup. 61-60 Cavs. Listen, I am as shocked as you are folks, time for another Bud Dry.

6:10- Mike Breen: “DONYELL MARSHALL FOR THREE!” (As if he’ll make it…) Result: airball.

5:50- Another offensive foul against the Spurs and another timeout. Cavs up 63-62. First to 65 wins…

During timeout, Mark Jackson, regarding a montage of Drew “Vagi-Patch” Gooden and LeBron James highlights:

“Big players step up in big games.”

Yea, no shit, thats what Tony Parker and Tim Duncan did and they’re up THREE-TO-NOTHING IN THE SERIES. “Vagi-Patch” and “Bron Bron” stepping up when the season is on the brink doesn’t count for shit, Markie.

5:05- And in merely 45-seconds, the Cavs lead has climbed to -2. Spurs up 65-63.

4:16- And Ginobili quiets the crowd with a three, nothing funny about that. Spurs lead 69-64.

2:29- Oberto with the layup and the foul. Who fouled him you might ask? I’ll give you one guess: His name starts ‘Donyell Marsh,’ and ends in ‘all.’

2:09- Tony Parker has the ball. Gratuitous, but welcomed, head shot of the oh-so-hot Eva Longoria and comment on the impending wedding in 3…2…1…

1:05- A rather uncontested layup by Ginobili makes it a 7-point game. Not uncontested because nobody was there, uncontested because the Cavs’ defense stinks…and that will just about be the ball game…

0:16- Head shot of former Spur, David Robinson. I am convinced that guy doesn’t age…he must be a robot. The rest of the “oldie-but-goodies” became lard asses after they retired (see: Patrick Ewing, Charles Barkley, “Magic” Johnson).

0:07- At 79-76 Spurs, it is hilarious to hear the announcing crew discuss how this one “isn’t over” as it is still a “one possession game.” Listen fellas, this one was over when the NBA Finals participants were decided, stop trying to add some sort of climax for a program nobody is watching.

0:00- And the San Antonio Spurs are YOUR 2007 NBA Champions (the YOUR being the five people and one airport terminal tuning in to see the game). We all saw this coming as the Spurs are a well oiled machine and the Cavs are not. In fact, I am not convinced the Cleveland Cavaliers would even make the playoffs in the Western Conference and they HAVE to have the worst supporting cast of any NBA Finals participant in history. Tim Duncan is a first ballot Hall-Of-Famer, Tony Parker is the NBA Finals MVP (I am calling it early, he was my pick after Game 2), and the Spurs are a Dynasty, regardless if they haven’t gone back-to-back yet; and all I have to say about not going back-to-back in the dynasty debate is: be careful what you wish for.

Congrats to the Spurs, they deserved it by far. I am not even going to begin to delve in to the statistics as we all know the story or just don’t care. The Cavs shot terrible, they couldn’t hit the broad side of Rosie O’Donnell; it was a terrible finals. The one positive, however, was that I was able to steer clear of NCAA officials with my liveblog long enough to live another day. Hope you enjoyed it!

-Matt

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2 Responses to “NBA Finals: 4th Game. 4th Quarter. Liveblog.”

  1. BoonevilleCat said

    Bud Dry?!?! I thought that had went the way of the dinosaurs years ago. Me and my buddies used to play quarters with this stuff when it first came out when I was in high school. The games didn’t last long because Bud Dry kicked our butts pretty good.

  2. Doc Hancock said

    Bud Dry??????????????????????????????????????????They still brew em’?

    BTW, I spent my Thursday watching three hotties making out. It was better than the junk David Stern had on television for an NBA Final.

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