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NBA Finals Preview

Posted by Charlie Hustle on June 7, 2007

Since I’ve been more of the devil’s advocate during this NBA playoffs I figured I should finally step out on a limb and make a prediction.

First of all, here’s the Top 5 reasons these playoffs have been unwatchable:

1. Boring teams. Interesting and exciting teams (Houston, Phoenix, Golden State, Chicago, Toronto) didn’t make the leap and boring teams (San Antonio, Utah, Cleveland, Detroit) made the Conference finals. We couldn’t get one high-paced, high-excitement team with some budding superstars?

2. Flopping. Why does the NBA highlight yesteryear when the Bad Boy Pistons and other teams used hard fouls to intimidate players coming in the lane then call every single flop a charge and every hard foul a flagrant? If Americans wanted pussy officiating we would be getting a satellite feed of French basketball at our local BW3s.

3. Bad Coaching.

a. LeBron wasn’t double-teamed until Game 6

b. Golden State ran as many set plays down the stretch as a 6-year old boys rec team that runs around following the ball.

c. Eric fucking Snow was put in the game with 1:05 remaining on an offensive possession.

d. Gordon Giricek was allowed to suit up and play any minutes. Why is this guy in the NBA?

e. Everytime the Spurs won, even by large margins, Gregg Popovich looked like his dog was just run over in the parking lot during the press conference. No wonder people don’t want to cheer for the Spurs.

4. Media Coverage. LeBron was crowned the best player ever in history. After he was accused of being a choker for passing down the stretch. These idiots in the media change their mind on epic levels everyday. Know why he scored 25 in a row? The rest of the team was 0-10. He’s been compared to Michael Jordan and Magic Johnson so many times it’s ridiculous. Can we wait to hype people AFTER they’ve actually won something called a “championship”? Can’t somebody be a special player without having to live up to MJ? Ugh.

5. The Amare Suspension. This was the single most fucked up part of the playoffs. Not only did the 2 best teams get matched up in the fuckin Western semi-finals, but David Stern & co. decided to ruin it by suspending Stoudamire/Diaw for the most important game of the series – Game 5 in Phoenix. What a stupid suspension from a stupid rule.

Just because someone gets off the bench when the 2-time MVP goes flying into a table doesn’t mean you’re going to see another Jeff Van Gundy holding on to Alonzo Mourning’s leg while his 47 hairs left stand straight up.

David Stern just reinforced the pussification of the league, rewarding flopping and sitting on the bench during an altercation like you’re in church. Way to go and ruin the playoffs.

Now that that’s off my chest….

 **********  2007 NBA FINALS PREVIEW ***********

 Center: Elson/Oberto vs. Ilgauskas.

EDGE: Cavs. This one is closer than you might think. Ilgauskas can’t guard anyone period. But he is consistent with his 15-20 foot jumper when the Cavs break down offensively.

Forward: Duncan/Bowen/Horry vs. LeBron/Gooden/Varejao

EDGE: Spurs. LeBron can be fantastic and Varejao is underrated as an offensive rebounder/flopper extraordinaire. But between Duncan’s consistent post play, Bowen’s defense/3-point shooting, and Big Shot Bob’s well… big shots, the Spurs have a definitive advantage. Gooden’s 19 points in Game 4 are the last Cavs fans will see of that.

Guard: Parker/Finley/Ginobli/Barry/Vaughn vs. Hughes/Gibson/Pavlovic/Snow/Jones

EDGE: Spurs. Big Time. The guards will determine this series and I believe it’s the Spurs’ guards that will dominate. Hughes has a bad foot and he can’t shoot anyway. Shooting is about all Pavlovic is good for. Gibson, the hero of the Detroit series, will have to prove he can hit shots when LeBron isn’t double-teamed.

Meanwhile, Parker has been more dominant in these playoffs than ever before and Ginobili and Finley have been deadly from 3 point range. I mean really, who in the hell is going to guard Tony Parker? It’s just not happening.

Coach: Edge: Spurs by a mile. Remember the movie Rushmore, where Bill Murray walks over to a bunch of little kids playing basketball and swats the shit out of one of the kids’ shots? Thats the perfect analogy for Popovich vs. Brown.

I would encourage all NBA fans watching this series to note the outcoaching the Popovich will do. That is my #1 guarantee.

Intangibles: Well let’s see….

Players on the Spurs I’ve seen hit a big shot:

Duncan, Parker, Ginobili, Bowen, Horry, Finley

Players on Cavs I’ve seen hit a big shot:


… uhh I’ll take the Spurs.


Tonight’s Game – Spurs 91, Cavs 84

Series – Spurs in 5


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