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Editor’s Note:Discuss this article NOW over at ACC vs. SEC! - Urlacher For Ocho?
Sources are reporting that current Chicagoan Brian Urlacher has asked for a trade through his agent and is flirting with retirement if not dealt.
My first thought? Chad Johnson and a draft pick for Brian Urlacher. Apparently the #85 jersey is available on the Bears but it appears as if David Haugh of the Chicago Tribune doesn’t like the idea (link).
I do, and I’ll tell you why. It fills a need for both teams.
Da Bears need a marquee wide receiver after releasing Muhsin Muhammad and seeing Bernard Berrian headed to the Vikings, while the Bengals need to do something with Chad Johnson because this situation is only going to get worse before it gets better.
On the other side, the Bengals need defense and lots of it. Urlacher is the play-making linebacker that Bengals’ fans have been begging for and thought they might have had in Odell Thurman before the “can’t stay out of trouble” bug bit the team. Brian, like Ocho Cinco, is seeking a trade.
Of course there are all kinds of contract issues I am not smart enough to figure out and relay to you fine people but I do know that Johnson’s contract MUST be restructured before any deal could be put in to place due the Salary Cap hit the Bengals would take. However, as Condo said, “if Chad ‘really’ wants to be traded, he’ll restructure.”
Plus, if they’re both making demands why not trade one problem for another?
Could this act be heading to “The Windy City”? I doubt Chicago fans want Chad but we’ll wait for Swerski to return from his most recent binge to weigh in from Bears Camp on the issue.
This is starting to become a popular theme for a lot of my posts. The theme being that Rex Grossman is a terrible quarterback whowill be unable to lead a veteran team to a Superbowl ring. I know this because, after sitting on the sidelines with injuries his first few years, he entered 2006 with high hopes of being a superstar on the field and after 5 great games to start off the season he tanked at EPIC proportions. Then last season he was benched for Brian Griese and eventually Kyle Orton after being injured upon his return.
His contract was up after the season and I, like everyone else in Bears Nation, expected our Monsters of the Midway to severe ties with this horrific football display and pick up a new QB anyway possible. I personally wanted the team to take the “Vince Papali” approach and hold open tryouts to everyone in Chicago. I’m sure in a city that large there had to be a any number of people who can do better then a 0 and a 1.3 QB rating. I mean even the punter had a better QB rating in one game after throwing an incomplete pass. Apparently 0 for 1 nets you around a 30 QB rating.
Getting to my point, I was happy to be rid of this “player” once and for all when the most bizarre thing in the history of the Bears organization occurred: They actually resigned him.
I have to repeat that to myself several times a day as I can hardly believe it. I’ve heard of some questionable moves, but this one takes the cake for making completely no sense at all. Jerry Angelo is a good GM, but if he thinks that Bears fans, particularly this one, is going to put up with this he is sadly mistaken.
It was on that day I put a jihad on them. And if you don’t believe it then you’d better kill me now because I’ll put a jihad on you, too.
The Chicago Bears released 34-year-old Muhsin Muhammad yesterday in a move that was apparently long expected. Whenever Bob Swerski sobers up maybe he can shed some light on this as I’m not much of a Chicaaagoan but with Bernard Berrian a free agent and the Bears’ offense anemic at best, it seems as if the timing of this move is a bit questionable. Moose still had two years left on his contract and I am bothered by the fact that, to me, the word “contract” doesn’t mean what the NFL seems to think it means — which is apparently “jack shit”.
But then again, what do I know? Nothing…except for the fact that no Bears post is complete without this infidel:
I have awakened from my drunken slumber and have made my return to TNB. This weekend we will see the return of KYLE ORTON, a quarterback who has complied a nice record by simply taking the snap and not really beating himself, allowing the Bears defense and special teams to win games. Let us review the troubled history of the Bears QB Carousel, starting with 1983… the year I was born.
Jim McMahon: Probably the second best quarterback ever to suit up in a Bears uniform after Sid Luckman. The Punky QB was somewhat injury prone but did lead the Bears to the promised land in 1985. McMahon is the only Bears quarterback to be selected to the Pro Bowl in recent memory, which says a lot about the people to come after him. DRAFTED:1982 (Round 1). STARTED: 1982-1988. TRADED: 1989
Steve Fuller: Picked up by the Bears from the L.A. Rams to sub in for the often injured McMahon. He was a decent back up behind McMahon, but then again with Walter Payton at running back I could be a decent back up. PICKED UP:1984. STARTED: 1984-1986. RELEASED: 1987.
Rusty Lisch: Sucked big time. He started only 1 game against the Packers and was so terrible that Ditka had to sign Greg Landry from the retirement home to play the final game of the season. SIGNED: 1984. STARTED: 1984. RELEASED:1985
Greg Landry: Threw 3 picks in his 1 game as a Bear, but he won, beating the Lions to finish off the season. SIGNED: 1984. STARTED: 1984. RETIRED: 1984.
Mike Tomczak: Many of TNB fans might remember this choad who came out of OSU. He was signed as an undrafted free agent and played mostly back up behind a slew of different quarterbacks. He is best known for warming up Jim Harbaugh’s nutsack before Jim took the field. SIGNED: 1985. STARTED: 1986-1990. PUT TO TRASH BIN: 1991.
Doug Flutie: Apparently he didn’t eat his Flutie flakes before playing for the Bears. Ditka started him 1 game against the Washington Redskins… which he lost. It is good to know that his final play in the NFL was when he drop-kicked an extra point. What a loser. TRADED FOR: 1986. STARTED: 1986. TRADED: 1987.
This is a new idea which I feel could actually help the Bears offense a great deal… I’ll call it the Faux Punt. We simply line Devin Hester 20 yards behind the line of scrimmage, hike the ball to Griese, and then have him lob it back to D.H .as if it were a punt or kick return. I have a feeling that it would be alot more productive over our current offense which is called the interception-punt (throwing the ball downfield to the other team instead of to our team which in a way acts as a short punt).
In all seriousness, why do teams even bother kicking the ball to Devin Hester? It has been shown that you have a better chance to score with our offense on the field than we do, so why not just give it to us on the 40 and wait for our offense to throw you a touchdown pass.
Take our most recent loss to the Lions. Our offense had a total 303 yards, which was our highest production of the season. Devin Hester had around 314 return yards and a touchdown (this could have been higher but the Lions made 2 shoe-string leg tackles which prevented Hester from putting a few more points on the board). In Week 2 against the Chiefs after shooing away a few pigeons, Hester ran it back 73 yards untouched for the score. The fact is that Bears fans get excited whenever he is on the field because there is a definite possibility of him running it back for a touchdown. Never have I ever experienced sitting on the edge of my seat for every punt and kickoff return, while going to get beer and nacho refills while our offense is on the field.
I show this video for several reasons: 1. It has my favorite announcer Jeff Joniak calling all the returns from last season. 2. You can see that Devin Hester does it all whether it be breaking tackles like in the Minnesota game, great cuts like in the Arizona game, and pure speed like both the ones in St. Louis. And 3. After the first one the Bears announcers were somewhat surprised, but by the last couple you have the other announcer giggling in the background while Joniak before the ball is even snapped questions why you would kick to him.
Rex Grossman’s passer rating in first 3 games: 45.2
Robbie Gould’s passer rating in first 3 games: 39.6
Thats right, after Robbie Gould went 0-1 last night in a fake field goal attempt, his passer rating is almost equal to Rex Grossman’s who is rocking it with 6 interceptions and only 1 touchdown pass (on a trick tackle eligible play from the 1 yard line).
I can already hear the excuses coming in today’s media about how last night the Bears didn’t play well anywhere (which is true), and about all the dropped balls (which is also true), but Rex Grossman doesn’t give the Bears a chance to win ball games which is the major problem.
Not yet convinced? Well how about the fact that Rex has thrown the same amount of touchdown passes to the opposing teams as he had to his own team. Or maybe it is that he only has 500 yards throwing the ball to our team and he has 100 yards throwing the ball to the other team. He has thrown 6 interceptions and only 1 touchdown.
People who have completed more or equal to Rex Grossman’s touchdowns who aren’t starting quarterbacks: Kyle Boller, Kurt Warner, J.T. O’Sullivan, Kellen Clemens. You probably have never even heard of the last 2, ’cause I sure as shit haven’t.
It’s time for Rex’s “gunslinger” approach to be benched in favor of Griese’s “I promise not to turn the ball over as much as Rex” approach. I can pinpoint the exact moment when I knew it was time to replace Rex. It was New Year’s Eve of last year and the Bears dropped a meaning less game to the Packers (if any game against the Packer’s is meaningless). After the game he said, “Ya’, I felt like I was goin’ to play for a half, it was the last game, IT WAS NEW YEAR’S EVE. There are so many other factors so I didn’t really concentrate.” It is unbelieveable that a starting quarterback would feel that way let alone admit it to the media. Enough with the excuses, enough with the turnovers, enough with Rex Grossman.
You look at the car above and you cry because it was a Lamborghini. Fighting back tears you read the story of Lance Briggs, ‘Da Bears’ Pro-Bowl linebacker who was involved in this one-car accident. You learn that it was found abandoned at 3:15 in the morning on the Edens (a highway north of Chicago) by the State Patrol. There was no driver in the car at the time, the wreck was not reported, and there were apparently no injuries. One might start to think that a star driving his car and running it into a lightpole at 3:15 AM, and then leaving the scene of an accident, would involve alcohol, but according to head coach Lovie Smith who was asked about alcohol’s involvement by a reporter:
“Now, how did we get to that part?” Smith asked. “We have a one-car accident and now alcohol is involved? I think that’s stretching a little bit to go that far.”
OF COURSE THERE WAS ALCOHOL INVOLVED! I add 2 and 2 and come out with 4… but apparently Lovie Smith comes up with 5 and then questions how I came to 4.
Here in a “The Nasty Boys’” EXCLUSIVE video as we have Lance Briggs (the one in black) being helped to his car by 2 other gentlemen.
Of course he was drunk Lovie, and there is no other reason to think otherwise. Luckily for Bears fans, and humanity really, he didn’t hurt anyone and made it home in enough time so he wouldn’t get caught and suspended.
Also, Briggs was at practice Monday morning bright and early, before being arrested with 2 misdemeanors for leaving the scene of an accident and failing to report an accident within 30 minutes. F*ck man, I don’t even want to go to class or work early in the morning after drinking let alone after wrecking a car at 3:15 in the morning; Briggs should be commended for making it in on time. (Not really but a little sarcasm in what could have been a scary situation couldn’t hurt.)
Many of you who aren’t fans of the greatest team to grace professional sports (’DA BEARS’), then you might have never heard of George Halas because he probably retired and died before many people reading this were even born. It is hard to gather all of the thoughts of such a great man and write them into a single article, but here I will try.
The fact is that one could write more volumes than the Britannica on each season he was an owner, player, and coach. His contribution to both the Bears, and the NFL, is vast and calling him one of the greatest people in football history is acceptable.
His record alone (324-152-32 ) is enough to enshrine him in the pantheon of the greatest. His 40 years of coaching with only 6 losing seasons is enough. His 6 NFL Championships is enough. He was MVP of the Rose Bowl in 1919, he invented the T-formation, he led the Bears to the most one-sided victory in NFL history (beat the Washington Redskins 73-0 in the 1940 Championship game), and he returned a fumble 98 yards in 1923, which was a record that would stand until 1975.
Halas was a player and/or a coach from 1920-1967, retiring very briefly several times, and was an owner for over 63 years. He was integral in forming the league during this time, when he was one of the people who met in 1920 to change the American Football League to the NFL. Halas is enshrined in Canton, Ohio and his number 7 is retired by the Bears. Since 1984 the initials GSH have appeared on the sleeves of Bear uniforms in honor of Papa Bear (seen below).
And the last ‘tid bit’ of information: Halas played 12 games as an outfielder of the Yankees before suffering a hip injury. He was replaced by this guy named Ruth…
Below is a video of this guy watching Rex Grossman play in his second preseason game on Monday Night Football. I’m not sure if it was after his interception or one of his three fumbles (1 lost) in only a quarter worth of “work.” It is going to be a long season for Bears’ fans (some ‘not safe for work’ language):
Matt
Charlie Hustle
Condo
Doc Hancock
Bob Swerski
Vega
