It would be nice to tell you TNB is a professional, Greater Cincinnati sports blog but most of the time we just get drunk and bitch about the Reds and the Bengals.
Amidst the John Calipari-to-Kentucky turmoil yesterday afternoon this very site surpassed the 1,000,000 hit mark going back to June of 2007 I never thought we’d see numbers like that regardless of how long it took so I appreciate the many (or few) that made this happen and those of you that take the time to comment and engage in fun, interesting, and informative sports banter — that’s what Charlie Hustle and I had in mind back in early 2007, just after the New Year, when the idea for TNB was born.
Thanks goes to all the guys here that post when they can, regardless of how frequently or infrequently; I realize we’re all busy and it has been a fun ride doing all this with people I call friends.
I hope any of you still around now that things have slowed down in 2009 have enjoyed what we have had to offer along the way and I hope for many more moments in the future.
It must be admitted that I have very few links to support any of my quotes (I’ll add video clips/links as soon as possible) or any of my theories…get your scorecards ready, folks…
11:45AM UPDATE:Here is an ESPN link with an Andy Katz-on-Mike and Mike in the Morning video along with a Jay Bilas-on-Mike and Mike audio link supporting some of the statements below: ESPN.com
-The ESPN Machine
ESPN’s Colin Cowherd mentioned on his radio show that Memphis isn’t with the likes of UK, UNC, UCLA, and that the job in Lexington is a “top five” position. Colin mentioned John Calipari “has to take the Kentucky job” and that Lexington is a “beautiful city,” among other things. Andy Katz has added that he thinks Coach Cal is coming to Kentucky, that this move “changes the face of SEC basketball,” and that the hire would automatically make the Wildcats a team to play for again among the other top programs. I have also heard Jay Bilas (”I would go there in a heartbeat if I were John Calipari”) and Doug Gottlieb (”Kentucky is KENTUCKY”) being on the Cal-to-Kentucky bandwagon. So what am I getting at?
ESPN has a gozillion dollar SEC basketball television contract starting next season and for a network that the Cat fanatics normally decry as being overwhelmingly “against” Kentucky, all of the talking heads have quickly started playing a new tune despite most saying just days ago that Kentucky didn’t give Billy Clyde Gillispie a fair shake at life in Lexington. This after claiming the Kentucky crazies “ran” Tubby” out of town two years ago. A change of tune indeed. (2:15PM Update: ESPN’s home page now has this article –front and center — to go along with the Coach Cal speculation, ESPN.com. Maybe the tune at ESPN hasn’t completely changed, at least on the hit-or-miss “Page 2″.)
Could the ESPN machine be thinking ratings if they can continue to hype John Calipari as the new head honcho of Kentucky basketball? Is ESPN trying to get back in to the good graces of Big Blue Nation with the SEC deal on the horizon? Just keep in mind that ESPN is, ultimately, a business…that’s all I’m asking.
-Coach Calipari Is Playing His Cards
I’ve heard a small buzz about John Calipari’s historical use of the tease to get more money out of his current employer. Many Cats fans lurking around the message boards are overlooking this minor detail and some are eving saying Calipari heading north is a “done deal.” What I somewhat suspect and eternally fear is that Coach Cal is flirting with Kentucky to receive a hefty pay raise from Memphis.
It wouldn’t be unprecedented and should be less than unexpected if it does, in fact, go down.
-Benedict Arnold Is Mettling In Kentucky Affairs
Kentucky lurkers thought it was a forgone conclusion that Billy Donovan was heading to Lexington back then and some “sources” even reported an Eddie Munster resignation just last Friday. However, it was rumored that Rick Pitino advised Billy Donovan to pass on the Kentucky job two years ago and head for higher ground — ground that ended up being Orlando and then Gainseville again. Most of the The Faithful think Pitino feared Donovan heading to Kentucky and one-upping his former boss (Donovan was an assistant under Ricky P. during the Kentucky glory days), some suspect that’s why Pitino “advised” his former underling to turn down the nation’s winningest program, and even a few even suggest it has happened yet again.
Coach Pitino also suggested that Arkansas’ John Pelphrey and Oklahoma State’s Travis Ford, both of who were players at Kentucky under Pitino, would be sure-fire hires in his (not-so-) humble opinion (ESPN.com). While I like Coach Ford and feel he’s done well at Campbellsville, Eastern Kentucky, Massachusetts, and Oklahoma State, some also feel he doesn’t have the experience necessary to right the Big Blue Ship despite having the Kentucky ties and having the familiarity with the fanatical Cats fans. Ditto that for Coach Pelphrey with an even less-impressive track record (no offense intended, but he missed postseason play in a “down” SEC this year with a losing conference record and a losing overall record).
Is Pitino trying to flex his muscle just enough to remain King of the Bluegrass? Could he fear a head-to-head and in-state rivalry with the likes of John Calipari (one which may already exist, if only in some people’s eyes)?
Only the man in the white suit has those answers.
-P.S.
It should be noted that I enjoyed seeing Louisville lose yesterday and have now said for more than one year that Rick Pitino is looking increasingly sickly on the sidelines. I am having more and more people confirm my observations as he looked utterly exhausted after yesterday’s loss.
I would also like to add that on this very site (in a comments thread) I had this to say about the nation’s number one #1 seed:
“Lewisveele only beat Kensucky by 3 on a luck last second shot by Edgar ‘Don’t Call Me Sammy’ Sosa.
They’re overrated and they’ll under perform in the tourney according to ‘expert’ expectations like they have every year except their lone Final Four year under Benedict Arnold. They didn’t even play one of the upper half of the hardest Big East schedules.”
“Stone Cold” Marvin Lewis was stoic as usual during the formal introduction of Laveranues Coles as a Bengal. If the writing isn’t on the wall then Marv’s face at least paints the picture and I think he knows as well as we do that it ain’t looking rosey.
Very much contradictory to my half-drunken predictions, the Bengals have resigned Cedric Benson to go along with Lavernezilli Coles signing in what are now the marquee moves for Cincinnati this offseason. All must be right in the Bengal Nation. Bengal-mania is back! WHO DEY!
Well, probably not, but I like to look at the bandwagon as having a revolving door to fit my needs.
-Hanoi Hobson’s old school spin.
Not quite sure how I missed this one last week but my current level of excitement cannot be contained so much that I have been trolling Bengals.com all morning and looking specifically at the wide receiver situation. On February 23, Hanoi had this to say about Jerry Simpson:
“I know a lot of people inside and outside the Bengals fear Simpson is a bust but, to his great credit, Lewis has always backed Simpson to the hilt. So much so that Lewis seemed to be coaxing Palmer to get more in Simpson’s camp.
All I know is this: In 20 preseason and regular-season games last year, only one wide receiver actually made a downfield catch longer than 40 yards, and it was Simpson. Forget it was the preseason and it was a throwaway launched by and into a bunch of second-half backups. The kid jumped up and made a play, and that exactly hasn’t been happening around here.”
Yeah, please forget that 40+ yard catch was in the American Legion’s annual Celebrity Flag Football Game For The Cure and Jerry was being hilariously covered by local “celeb” Nick Lachey in the short-nonathletic-white-dude-competes-against-large-athletic-black-man irony that the average American loves. Simpson (”Largest WR hands at the 2008 NFL Combine!”) had 1 reception for 2 yards the entire season. True story.
I think Brett Favre had that in his first completion with Green Bay and last I heard he wasn’t a wide receiver nor was he coming out of retirement (yet).
-Bengals fans are collectively retarded. — My apologies to the retarded, being compared to a Bengals fan really paints those folks in a bad light.
Today’s fan poll on Bengals.com begs the question, “What do you think of the Laveranues Coles signing?” and 71% went with “Great move – now we have a deep corps of receivers (Ed.’s Note: Citation needed.)“. 23.9% said, “It’s OK — doesn’t wow me either way (Ed.’s Note: That’s what she said.)” while 5.9% decided that it was a “Bad move — he’s no TJ”.
Let me preface my belligerent ramblings by saying I have no problems with Laveranues Coles and I actually didn’t mind the signing overall. He seems like a class act, something that has been a rarity in recent history, and 4 of the last 5 seasons he has somehow found a way on to my fantasy team, with me having no recollection of actually drafting him or picking him up from the waiver wire, and performed sufficiently. (I will also add to the preface that a fourth choice of “It is a decent signing but the offensive line is still shitty” is a conspicuously absent option from the fan poll.)
However, the 71% of fans that are overly enthusiastic about the signing of Coles are indicative of a fan base that goes through life looking through orange-colored lenses and it really chaps my ass. These are the same delusional human beings that buy in to the “Bengals finished strong” argument because the team went 4-3-1 in the last 8 games despite the fact the 4 wins were against divisional bottom-feeders with a combined .297 winning percentage.
I witnessed this problem up close in training camp last summer. The exact same fans would show up every day covered in Bengals schwag from head to toe, begging for autographs from players half their age as if proving their blind, undying loyalty makes them better people than their unemployed reality portrays. These are the same mongrels that show up every Sunday to Paul Brown Stadium, rain or shine, and plop their fat asses in uncomfortable chairs with their overpriced cheese coneys and $9 beers, helping to ensure that Mike Brown will have to change very little to continue making his millions.
-Please, please, PLEASE don’t use high draft picks on a running back or wide receiver.
Especially not after drafting three wide receivers last year (Simpson/Caldwell/Urrutia) and signing another one as a college free agent (Maurice Purify). Benson and company in the backfield plus any combination of Ocho Cinco/Coles/Henry/Simpson/Your Mom may not be the best offense in the league, but the Bengals have far more pressing issues at this point than the skill positions.
“The Bengals have plenty of needs, but they don’t have a gaping hole that they must fill with the No. 6 or No. 38 picks. Particularly at No. 6, where they can now take anything, and that includes Texas Tech wide receiver Michael Crabtree if he slips because of his foot stress fracture. But, if someone wants to jump and get Crabtree, now the Bengals have the luxury of trading down if they want to talk turkey at No. 6.
(Seattle, picking at No. 4, is presumably out of the receiver sweepstakes now that Houshmandzadeh is in the fold.)”
Heh, he said ‘gaping hole’. But seriously, the Bengals have needs and I know of one gaping hole in particular and it is wherever Eric Ghiaciuc lines up (or doesn’t if he doesn’t resign).
If the Bengals spend the #6 overall selection on a guy with a bum leg when they now have 8 wide receivers to take to training camp (plus any invitees), and with former Bengals Tab Perry and Kelley Washington still on the market, I may just turn to illicit drug use to ease the pain — otherwise known as “Weekday Mornings” in my household.
See the lifeboats in the lower left? Yeah, that’s Stacy Andrews and TJ Housyourmamma getting the hell out of town and don’t be surprised if Cedric Benson is soon to follow. But what does this mean and what have we truly learned about the Bengals during the free agency period thus far?
-The Bengals were never legitimately in the mix for Housh.
Call me crazy but I am a broke college student and I don’t think I’d take a guaranteed contract to play for the Bengals; this franchise is a joke. Don’t get me wrong, I fully support the endeavors of Who Dey Revolution, but we’re a fan base that has resorted to sneaking in urinal cakes to Paul Brown Stadium documenting Mike Brown’s inferiority.
Carson’s constant phone calls tugging at the proverbial heartstrings of TJ only delayed the decision. Seattle is a (marginally) better team in a weaker division offering more money to bring TJ closer to home. Book it. Done.
-Cedric Benson may soon follow.
You better get used to a 2009 edition of the Bengals lacking any offensive line depth along with playing sans our top receiver and (possibly) top running back from 2008. Although Cedric Benson has taken enough police beatings to lack cognitive thought, he somehow still had the presence of mind to know that the Bengals are on a one way trip to Hell when he spoke with The Houston Chronicle:
“There’s a lot of things like staying home, and the business side of it here might be better than it is in Cincinnati,” he said. “Also, winning a Super Bowl. I had an opportunity to go (with Chicago), and I want to get back and win one.”
Ah yes, the hometown comes-a-calling excuse once more. And the Bengals business side is shitty. Oh, and he’ll never win a Super Bowl in Cincinnati, either.
This guy was selling steaks out of a rapist van to cover court costs at the start of last season before signing with Cincy; but now, after less than one year with the Bengals, Ced would rather take a backup role to Steve Slaton in Houston than start for our loveable losers.
-Other teams’ free agents use the Bengals to catch a free flight through the Mid-west.
Giants’ free agent running back Derrick Ward visited Cincinnati over the weekend — a move that likely only further drove the wedge between Benson and the Bengals — only to sign with Buccaneers a day later. I doubt Ward was ever seriously considering Cincinnati despite what Hanoi Hobson on Bengals.com would have you believe.
Instead of signing with the Bengals I picture Ward’s agent, Drew Rosenhaus, with his feet up on Mike Brown’s desk finalizing the details of the deal with Tampa Bay while Mike Brown “wined-and-dined” Ward with a Skyline 3-way and a Big Gulp.
You’d think the rest of the league would catch on to the fact that Bengals will likely sign NOBODY, but it seems clear free agents are still content ‘taking a visit’ to try to improve their market value before bolting for higher ground.
-The Brown Family is asleep at the wheel.
The Bengals have resigned just three crucial pieces to the Bengals’ “success” last year: Chris “Leave Britney alone!” Crocker, DeDe Dorsey, and Darryl Blackstock. They let Stacy Andrews walk — the guy they sent Willie Anderson packing for with nothing in return, and Stacy only had a 1 year deal at the time — and they have yet to sign a center or improve the depth on either side of the trenches.
The dancin’ machine known as Kelley Washington — famous for “The Squirrel” — may be making a return to Cincinnati, the place where his smooth moves all began back in 2003. Washington, a free agent, and his representative Chad Speck have reached out to Bengals Management at the NFL Combine and the interest is apparently mutual yet not expressed.
“There is a mutual interest but there hasn’t been any talk about a visit or anything like that. We’ll be talking,” said Speck, a popular man since he’s also the agent for the top player on the free-agent market in Titans defensive tackle Albert Haynesworth.
Oh, wow, wouldn’t it be nice if the Three Stooges (Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, & Troy Blackburn) were linked with Speck for a guy like, oh say, ALBERT HAYNESWORTH instead of a guy who has caught one pass for three yards in two years with the New England Patriots? Don’t get me wrong, I think Washington is an entertaining character and he had some mild success in spot play and excelled on special teams when he was in Cincinnati, but when will the Bengals land an exciting free agent without botching the contract terms? (*ahem* Shuan Rogers)
Unfortunately for Bengals’ Fans the wide receiver position quickly became a weakness (please don’t use a first round pick, please don’t use a first round pick) when Bengals Management used the Franchise Tag on a kicker and Drew Rosenhaus began pimping out Ocho Cinco like a top call girl. Jerry Simpson (”Biggest hands in the Combine!”) has been useless and Chris Henry is soft so I understand where concern could blossom but Palmer won’t have to worry about who is on the other end of those receiving routes if he’s on his back more times each game than Pam Anderson on a Motley Crue tour bus.
Heyooo! I’ll be here all night, folks — don’t forget to tip your bartenders.
After weeks of speculation the Captain of the Titanic Bengals’ management did what we all long feared on Monday: used the Franchise Tag on “Sugar” Shayne Graham. What’s worse is everybody expected it. John Thorton called it on his blog. The geniuses over at WhoDey Revolution have been speculating this move for weeks. Yet none of it prepared me for the stinging pain that shot through my head (Ed. Note: Could’ve been the hangover.) when I heard that Cincy had officially tagged a kicker.
Sure Shayne is great for the community and “Hanoi” Hobson’s spin zone seems to lean on his philanthropy as a valid reason to keep Graham around. By all means don’t allow me to rain on anybody’s parade — Kicks for Kids is a GREAT campaign (ahem: started by Kentucky alum Doug Pelfrey) — but if we’re giving out top five salaries because of a little charity work I’ll have you know I recently donated hefty sums of money to a worthwhile college fund for some stripper’s kids.
Tagging a kicker isn’t unprecedented. The Broncos have tagged Jason Elam in the past and the Seahawks have done the same to Josh Brown. Shayne-o-Mac isn’t even the lone kicker tagged this year in a group that includes punter Michael Koenen out of Atlanta and Jason Hanson out of Detroit (0-16, solid company). I also would care a little bit less if Graham was our lone high profile free agent this year, but he’s not and the Bengals also aren’t a few field goals away from being a contender.
Cincy has holes on both lines and has the best possession/third down wide receiver in the NFL today sitting on the cusp of free agency and they tag a kicker. Even if Housh wants no part of coming back to Cincy and the Bengals’ feeling is mutual, tag him and decline to match an offer so the team receives first round draft picks in the 2009 AND 2010 drafts.
After locking up their kicker for at least another year — even though they can’t get INTO field goal range to begin with — “Hanoi” Hobson claims the Bengals will “jump in to the fray” for TJ once free agency begins but I can only imagine they’ll offer about as much money as I’d be offered as a male prostitute. Then again, what do I know?
Clearly not as much as this widely successful managerial staff…
For the first time since Spring Training 2004, the Reds’ pitchers and catches reported early on Saturday and were short one Toddy Coffey, or rather were one Todd Coffey lighter. 240 pounds lighter, to be exact.
Cincinnati designated Big Red for assignment on September 9th of last year and the Brewers signed him off waivers one day later. It is hard to put in to words how exciting it is for me and Charlie Hustle to see a Reds’ roster Coffey-less in camp for the first time in a long time. It wasn’t that Todd was Eric Milton-bad but he wasn’t that good either, posting a 4.62 ERA in just over 206 innings for the Red Legs, and his “trademarked” sprint from the Bullpen to the pitcher’s mound became more of a annoyance than a crowd-pleaser. In addition to being obnoxious, aforementioned sprint also made no noticeable difference on his waistline.
Coffey will once again lace ‘em up for the Brewers in 2009 in what will presumably be his first full season for the franchise assuming he can make it to the end of the year on their active roster. Milwaukee, known for their tasty brews, should be a good fit for Todd where that beer belly will feel right at home.
Charlie Hustle and I started referring to Bengals’ website propaganda puppet Geoff Hobson, pictured (dramatization), as “Hanoi Hobson” a long ways back due to his seemingly sympathizing ways towards the Brown Family communist regime, efforts that would make Jane Fonda proud. I understand it must be hard writing about a team as perpetually bad as the Bengals but sometimes Hanoi paints the picture so rosey I even begin to believe that Cincinnati has two Super Bowls in four years instead of Shitsburgh.
The offseason plays out no differently:
“…Which pretty much summed up many of Fitzpatrick’s 12 starts in place of the injured Carson Palmer. Just not enough firepower from anyone. But he did lead his team to a 4-3-1 finish and he did play Brett Favre to a virtual stat standstill.”
Ah yes, that undeniably impressive 4-3-1 finish with the four wins coming against teams that finished the season a combined 19-45 (.297) and all placed last in their respective divisions. Granted the Eagles went on to play in the NFC Championship game but they do that every year and suggesting that tie is a bright spot on the season is like the guy pictured above suggesting his celibacy is a choice. Philly was in disarray at the time and the game was simply atrocious all around. And what the hell is “a virtual stat standstill” anyway? We’re left to brag about draws against washed up gunslingers?
My head hurts.
I’m sure there’s more, such as referring to Fitzpatrick’s quarterback-sneaks-where-he-forgets-to-slide as “classic, quick thinking plays”, but there isn’t enough alcohol in the house today to ease the pain.
The Washington Nationals signed free-swinger Adam Dunn to a 2-year, $20,000,000 dollar contract this week, or approximately $60,606 per strikeout. The signing reunites Dunn with former Reds running mates Austin Kearns and Wily Mo Pena, a trio of outfielders who all played ball for my hometown Dayton Dragons before making their way through the Reds system under the tenure of then-Reds GM Jim Bowden. I am glad to see The Donkey staying with the National League, though, so we can all continue to be witness to his fielding prowess in the outfield.
Between Dunn, Kearns, and Pena along with Dmitri Young, Felipe Lopez, Aaron Boon, and Corey Patterson, it is beginning to look like Bowden has a penchant for pillaging the table scraps of the perpetually sub-.500 Red Legs. I guess the more things change the more they stay the same. In Bowden’s defense, Dunn is a virtual lock for exactly 40 home runs, 100 rbis, 110 walks, 165 strike outs, and an obp of .386 each and every year.
I guess there’s something to be said about consistency these days. Even if it’s not all that impressive.
Obviously TNB has been dormant since the New Year and for that I apologize. Most of the guys have moved on to bigger and better things: careers, families, graduate school, or — in Bob’s case — drunken binges. We’ve been gone but the site has not been forgotten.
So here is the deal: with baseball spring training looming, our 1,000,000th hit imminent, and Charlie Hustle needing additional income to feed his degenerate gambling habits, we’re going to be making some gradual, minor changes in hopes of a relaunch on March 1st. The majority of the design will stay the same as will a majority of the free, below-average content you’ve come to expect.
The one, big change that I hope alienates nobody is our focus. Instead of our ambiguous approach to 2008, we’re going to narrow our focus for the Northern Kentucky sports sufferer. Bitchings about the Cincinnati Bengals and Reds, as well as (hopefully) amusing and interesting commentary on the Kentucky Wildcats. Every once in a while we’ll throw in some very newsworthy or interesting bits from those respective sports and the teams’ respective divisions/conferences. There won’t be nearly as much mainstream, general fodder but there may be some national stories from the MLB or NFL from time to time.
Just as a recap, our narrowed focus will include the Cincinnati Bengals/AFC North, the Cincinnati Reds/NL Central, the Kentucky Wildcats/Southeastern Conference, and maybe a touch of related news just to switch it up. As always are archives will remain in tact for anyone wanting to check out the back catalog — I’m not sure why you would put yourself through that — as it will only see some minor, reorganizational changes.
There may be many folks who aren’t interested in the above listings and for that I apologize; I encourage anyone that stops by to stick around despite the changes. I don’t know if the changes will right the ship but we’re going to give it one helluva shot.
54 points IN Knoxville against the hated Vols. A Kentucky record. The lead story on the 11:00PM edition of SportsCenter. And now I arrive to work to find the ESPN homepage splashed with the dominating performance had by one Jodie Meeks right in the face of the that orange-blazer-wearing, too-much-fake-tanned Bruce Pearl. Chris Lofton WHO?
