Brandon Webb Is My New Hero

As of Commencement this past Sunday, Brandon Webb and I now share one thing in common: we’re both alumni of the greatest university this side of Harvard, the University of Kentucky.

What we don’t share in common is our prowess on a pitching mound as Mr. Webb moved to 8-0 in eight starts for the Arizona Diamondbackes tonight after a complete game, three earned run performance against the Phillies. 

Webb is sporting an impressive 2.49 ERA while holding opposing hitters to below the Mendoza Line with an astounding .194 batting average against.  Brandon has only given up two home runs this season while striking out 41.

Brandon Webb, you sir have become my new hero and you sir are a complete bad ass.

♣ Linkage: ESPN.com

The 6th Greatest Basketball Program In The South: Maryland Terrapins

Maryland Terrapins

Location: College Park, Maryland

Nickname: Terrapins

Reason For Nickname: In 1932, then-president Curley Byrd suggested that their athletic programs be known as the Terrapins. The name has stuck ever since.

Colors: Officially - red, white, black, and gold

Conference: Atlantic Coast Conference

Arena: Comcast Center (built 2002, capacity 17,950)

Postseason Appearances:

NCAA Appearances: 22 Appearances, two Final Fours, one National Championship

NIT Appearances: 7 Appearances, one Championship

Cast For ‘The Longest Yard 2′ Now Forming

Editor’s Note: Discuss this article NOW over at ACC vs. SEC! - Cast For ‘The Longest Yard 2′ Now Forming

On the heels of one of the NFL’s most embarrassing seasons in recent history, thanks mainly to Michael Vick’s notorious dog-fighting ring, the start of many minicamps throughout the league has brought even more news that cannot be music to still-new commissioner Roger Goodell’s ears.

The Bengals notwithstanding, the first troubling news of the season came late last week and was by far the most surprising. Long time Colt Marvin Harrison was, and still is, being probed in a shooting that occurred outside of his bar in Philadelphia. Harrison is innocent until proven guilty, with no arrests having been made and no suspects having been named, but it is still tough to see a guy like Marvin even linked to a situation such as the one in Philly. Harrison and his agent are denying any involvement in the shootings and all that has ever been said about Marvin Harrison is that he is the one of the few true class acts in the league; hopefully Harrison is cleared of any charges by those investigating the case.

But with the Harrison situation looming this Monday morning, two more cases sprung up throughout the NFL featuring Bear Cedric Benson and Falcon Michael Boley, in separate issues. Benson, like Harrison, is denying most details listed in a police report that includes an alleged BWI charge and an alleged resisting arrest charge, one in which Cedric was eventually pepper sprayed for.

In the second case, Falcon defensive stud Michael Boley was arrested and charged with battery on Saturday and has since been released on bond.

I have crucified the Bengals over the years for their character issues off of the field, and I am not ready to pull a 180 degree switch and begin making excuses for athletes, but Benson’s side of the story is a fairly convincing one and it begins to beg the question: Are athletes being targeted?

One must take in to account that there are many more professional football players than other sports thus conventional wisdom would tell you that there would be more incidents involving football players while still being the same overall percentage of the population of their particular sport. I am also not insinuating that all of the targeting comes strictly from law enforcement, but it does seem feasible to me that someone with an agenda would choose to target a famous athlete in order to publicly ruin that athlete’s reputation.

It is beginning to look like we’re living in the age of scandal in sports which likely can be blamed, in part, on the internet’s ability to disseminate information — facts or falsehoods — very quickly. However, if the current pattern continues, it is shaping up to be a long season, and tenure, for Commissioner Roger Goodell.

♣ Linkage:

ESPN.com

ESPN.com

ESPN.com

“We Have Smoking Hot Chicks That Play Softball And They’re Also Smart”

Doc’s Note: This is the latest in a series of columns about sports at Crichton. These columns will run until the end of the school year.

Lady Comets (l-r) Sierra Coltharp, Ashley Smith, Jessica Divittorio, Erica Brich, Erica Valentine, and Courtnee Steen pose for picture after being honored by the TransSouth Conference for scholastic acheivement.

Not too long ago, I said to softball players Rebecca Allen and Anna Carter, who just so happen to be neighbors of mine, that there’s a reason why I enjoyed announcing softball games.

“We have smoking hot chicks that play softball,” I said jokingly, only to realize that much of that statement was true.

Away from that statement, the softball team this year, despite the injuries to Cassie White and Anna Carter — who as I write this has recovered well from her surgery — has improved on what had been a baptism by fire during their first season of varsity softball in North Highland Park as they finished the regular season in seventh place and earned their first tourney win in school history on Wednesday morning in Jackson against Mid-Continent.

Despite the fact that I did say three months ago that Crichton does in fact have smoking hot chicks that do play softball, you can’t help but notice the simple fact that although these young ladies are athletes, they still haven’t forgotten the true reason why they came to play softball here in North Highland Park.

Represent the school with class.

Although shortstop Aimee Grissom, who only three months ago beat a certain sportswriter in basketball and forced him to convert to Islam for twenty minutes, she also has done an outstanding job as resident assistant in Madison East and will be on track to graduate at the end of this year from Crichton.

Catcher Ashley Smith, who was one of the original TNB supporters here in North Highland Park, will earn her degree in May as well as former softball standout Ginny Galloway.

At the present moment, the softball team will have among other things, the highest GPA among athletic teams in North Highland Park.

That’s an accomplishment that doesn’t get any type of notice in the sports pages.

Thanks in part to Coach Michelle Wilkes and her staff, the softball team has learned over time that once the softball games stop, they will still have a future.

Who knows what accomplishments will lie beyond North Highland Park for them.

All we can say is that we thank them for their time here and we’ll see them somewhere carrying the slogan for North Highland Park: think, change, and grow spirtually.

Chris Hansen Would Like A Word With Clemens

“Why don’t you have a seat over there, I’d like to ask you a few questions. Try the lemonade, go ahead — help yourself. Do you know who I am? I am Chris Hansen from Dateline NBC.”

To be honest, I am not quite sure how I missed this subtle detail yesterday — and by subtle detail I mean hilarious revelation — but I blame the bourbon. However, thanks goes to loyal reader The General who pointed out that although Roger Clemens’ alleged affair with Mind McCready WAS a decade long, it supposedly started when McCready was an aspiring 15-year old singer while The Rocket was a 28-year old pitching phenom who could have had most any legal woman he wanted.

I still maintain per the Mindy mugshot from yesterday that if Clemens was going to cheat on his wife he should have at least made it worth while, and now knowing Mindy was 15 does not change that position much unless…well, you’re in to that sort of thing. If this isn’t the makings of this week’s To Catch A Predator I don’t know what is and if all of this is true then it sounds like Rog has some explaining to do.

Ahh, back-to-back Clemens posts…I really need to get out more. Did someone say bourbon?

♣ Linkage: Daily News

Clemens Could Have Done Better

Hands off Emmylou, Rog…you’ve already had your taste of Nashville.

Former personal trainer and glorified Andy Dick look-alike Brian McNamee has spilled the beans on Clemens’ decade-long bout of infidelity with country music singer Mindy McCready. The news is the latest in a series of mudslinging accusations between The Rocket and McNamee as part of the defamation of character suit Roger filed against Brian earlier this year.

Now I normally don’t care what people do with their own time as it is none of my business, but apparently when Clemens is suing for questioning his character we have to care. Truth be told I have lost all respect for Roger Clemens.

And not because he cheated on his wife but because it was with this:

Seriously Roger…this was the best you could do? Was Shania Twain not available?…Dude, remember, you’re THE ROCKET.

♣ Linkage: ESPN.com

Barry Zito Is A Rich Loser

“I plan on winning THIS many more games while I’m a Giant.”

Just shy of a year and a half ago Barry Zito signed a very large contract for a pitcher. $126M over 7 years large. Since signing his absurd contract, Zito is a combined 11-19 for the Giants over the past two seasons including a 3 inning, 8 earned run loss in his most recent start against the Redlegs.  No, not the reigning World Champions, those Redlegs. Now, a mere 16 months later, Zito is being demoted to the Bullpen to provide the most expensive 1 inning relief appearances in Major League Baseball history.

Zito earned $10.0M last year and will earn a cool $14.5M for the 2008 season meaning the Giants paid $909,090 per win last season and, well, I would tell you how much they’ve paid per win so far this season but that whole divide by zero issue may crash the site or kill us all.

Clearly Zito’s contract may end being one of the all-time worst contracts for a pitcher, ranking way up there with the Mike Hampton debacle from a few years back. However, It is tough to feel sorry for Zito as he is getting paid a very large sum of money for being a loser.

♣ Linkage: ESPN.com

The 7th Greatest Basketball Program In The South: Western Kentucky Hilltoppers

Western Kentucky Hilltoppers

Location: Bowling Green, Kentucky

Nickname: Hilltoppers

Reason For Nickname: The location of Western Kentucky University, which is located on a hill in Bowling Green.

Colors: Red and White

Conference: Sun Belt

Arena: E.A. Diddle Arena (built 1963, capacity 14,277)

Postseason Appearances:

NCAA Tournament Appearances: 20 Appearances, one Final Four.

NIT Appearances:13 Appearances, three Final Fours

Cubs Go For 10,000

The Cubs are going for their 10,000 win today (Wednesday, April 23) against the Colorado Rockies. It is nice to talk about such a historic franchise and NOT talk about a record having to do with losing. There is only 1 other team to reach this historic mark, the New York/San Fran Giants. This begs the question: “How can a team that hasn’t won a championship in 100 years and hasn’t even seen the World Series since the ’40s possibly have more wins than a team like the Yankees who have 25 championships?”

The answer is that I have no idea, but it is pretty amazing.

The 8th Greatest Basketball Program In The South: North Carolina State Wolfpack

North Carolina State Wolfpack

Location: Raleigh, North Carolina

Nickname: Wolfpack

Reason For Nickname: In 1922, a disgruntled fan said that the student section behaved like a “wolfpack”, therefore giving the nickname to the NC State program.

Colors: Red and White

Conference: Atlantic Coast Conference

Arena: RBC Center (built 1999, capacity 19, 722)

Postseason Appearances:

NCAA Tournament Appearances: 22 Appearances, three Final Fours, two National Championships

NIT Appearances: 11 Appearances

I Want Isiah’s (New) Job

As many of you probably already know or most of you probably don’t care, Isiah Thomas was relieved of his duties as head coach by team president Donnie Walsh — who also happens to be Isiah’s current successor in the presedential position. So what will Isiah being doing, you ask?!:

“He will not have an official title, but he will provide meaningful input to me.”

Epic. And just what kind of meaningful input is Isiah going to provide? Maybe which female coworkers Donnie can make sexually suggestive behaviors to without consequence? Maybe…

Additionally, he will report directly to Walsh but Isiah but won’t have anyone reporting to him. Oh yeah, he’s also banned from contacting any members of the team.

So what IS Isiah going to be doing for $18.0M? No title, no subordinates, no contact, NO RESPONSIBILITIES!

I want Isiah’s new job…and that hat, too.

♣ Linkage:

ESPN.com

NorthJersey.com

ESPN.com

Urlacher For Ocho?

Editor’s Note: Discuss this article NOW over at ACC vs. SEC! - Urlacher For Ocho?

Sources are reporting that current Chicagoan Brian Urlacher has asked for a trade through his agent and is flirting with retirement if not dealt.

My first thought? Chad Johnson and a draft pick for Brian Urlacher. Apparently the #85 jersey is available on the Bears but it appears as if David Haugh of the Chicago Tribune doesn’t like the idea (link).

I do, and I’ll tell you why. It fills a need for both teams.

Da Bears need a marquee wide receiver after releasing Muhsin Muhammad and seeing Bernard Berrian headed to the Vikings, while the Bengals need to do something with Chad Johnson because this situation is only going to get worse before it gets better.

On the other side, the Bengals need defense and lots of it. Urlacher is the play-making linebacker that Bengals’ fans have been begging for and thought they might have had in Odell Thurman before the “can’t stay out of trouble” bug bit the team. Brian, like Ocho Cinco, is seeking a trade.

Of course there are all kinds of contract issues I am not smart enough to figure out and relay to you fine people but I do know that Johnson’s contract MUST be restructured before any deal could be put in to place due the Salary Cap hit the Bengals would take. However, as Condo said, “if Chad ‘really’ wants to be traded, he’ll restructure.”

Plus, if they’re both making demands why not trade one problem for another?

Could this act be heading to “The Windy City”? I doubt Chicago fans want Chad but we’ll wait for Swerski to return from his most recent binge to weigh in from Bears Camp on the issue.

♣ Linkage: Chicago Sun-Times

This Falls Under The “Holy Shit” Category

A Japanese high school baseball team recently surrendered 66 runs.  Yes…66.  Honestly, there arent enough cuss words to emphasize 66 runs in — wait for it — 1 and 1/3 innings.

“The coach of Kawamoto technical high school threw in the towel to spare his pitcher’s arm with his team losing 66-0 with just one batter out in the bottom of the second.

The hapless hurler had already sent down over 250 pitches, allowing 26 runs in the first inning and 40 in the second before Kawamoto asked for mercy.

‘At that pace the pitcher would have thrown around 500 pitches in four innings,’ Kawamoto’s coach was quoted as saying. ‘There was a danger he could get injured.’”

Um, 250 pitches?  Was Dusty Baker coaching Kawamoto Technical High School?  ZING!

There are a lot of jokes to be made about this situation, most of them being offensive so…yeah, 66 runs.  Just let that sink in.

Holy SHIT.

In related news, the powers that be allowed the beating to be recorded as just a simple 9-0 loss for Kawamoto.  Which is kind of like offering to rebuild a country after dropping a nuclear bomb on it.

Too soon?

♣ Linkage: Reuters

There’s Still Time On The Clock, Just Push It Up The Floor

Every baseball fan young and old knows all too well about the story of the Dodgers’ move to Los Angeles and how, after 50 years of major league baseball in Southern California, Walter O’Malley’s name in Brooklyn is still spoken with a sense of complete dislike.

Fast-forward to 2008, where instead of close-knit Brooklynites begging for the Dodgers not to depart from Flathbush, a city and a former owner is fighting like crazy to keep their beloved NBA team in the city of their origin.

Going into the 2007-08 NBA season, the Seattle Sonics weren’t among anyone’s list of contenders in the Western Conference. Although the Sonics did strike gold by drafting Kevin Durant, who will nonetheless become this year’s Rookie of the Year, the Sonics were making more news away from the hardwood than on it throughout this season.

As many of us NBA fans know, the Hornets, like many of the pro teams around the New Orleans area, were evacuated because of Hurricane Katrina to temporary sites.

With the Hornets it was Oklahoma City, home to a gleaming showplace for basketball in the Ford Center, which in recent years has hosted the Big 12 Conference Tournament.

While the arrangement between the Hornets and the city was short-term and successful, another Oklahoman is trying his best to do the same thing that Walter O’Malley, more than 50 years ago, allegedly did.

Break the hearts of a loyal fan base.

Oklahoma City businessman Clay Bennett is trying to obtain permission from the NBA to move the Pacific Northwest’s oldest major pro sports team, the Seattle Sonics, to Oklahoma City and thereby doing something that could not be done with the Hornets: sustain a long-term presence of pro basketball in Oklahoma City.

But it’s not going away without a fight.

As we speak, Washington senators are doing everything in their power to stop the move by filing lawsuits, bringing in a former owner to get the team back and keep it in Seattle, something that the people of Brooklyn would have never envisioned doing 50 years ago when their Dodgers traded Flatbush for Hollywood.

But much like the Dodgers, the Sonics have been an instution in Seattle.

And barring a last-second shot, Clay Bennett is going to join the ranks of Horace Stoneham and Walter O’Malley as the most hated owners in sports history.

Too bad, because Seattle was getting used to seeing Kevin Durant and possibly seeing the team get back into contention in the West.

But because of a hillbilly, that won’t be the case.

Ric Flair: A Capitol Hill Icon

I know this has long been making the blog rounds (Kentucky Sports Radio via Sports By Brooks…Google them, I’m too lazy to link right now) but anyone that knows this site — or more importantly knows me well — knows that Ric Flair is by and far my Hero and there aren’t many that you could say are a close second.

If Ric Flair hadn’t “made it” already, he officially has now.

The Nature Boy is a limousine ridin’, jet flying, kiss stealin’, wheelin’ dealing, Capitol Hill son of a gun!

Chicks Dig The Long…Career

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The now-42-year-old Greg Maddux won his 349th game on Sunday — a day before his birthday — in a 5.0 inning outing against his former hotel stop, the Los Angeles Dodgers. I admittedly couldn’t stand Maddux when he was an Atlanta Brave and, to be truthful, I couldn’t so much as stand John Smoltz, Tom Glavine, Steve Avery or, well, any of the Braves either during their run of domination in the 1990s and early 2000s.

But I will also admit that the longer a player most pundits describe as a “class act” continues to perform at high levels in years long after he should be able to, the more I tend to like and respect that player. I think this is the case for most other sports fans and is best outlined most recently with the Brett Favre Love Fest this past NFL season. Most people — myself included — want to see just how long a particular player can continue on at a successful and high professional level past the 40-year-old plateau.

What is more remarkable about Maddux, however, is that he has been taking care of business with unparalleled consistency and durability since 1988, his third year in the league after entering as a rookie in 1986 with the Chicago Cubs, and with a fastball that only tops out around 47 MPH. The “Chicks Dig The Long Ball” commercial for Nike may have vaulted Maddux in to mainstream baseball popularity and 349 wins is an impressive feat, but a quit look at his season-by-season statistics tell the real story:

21 consecutive seasons with 25, or more, starts. 20 consecutive seasons with 198, or more, innings pitched. 20 consecutive seasons with 14, or more, wins. 14 total seasons with an ERA at, or below, 3.50. And all of this while sporting a career winning percentage of .620 with four different teams.

That is durability, that is consistency, and that is longevity.

Greg Maddux may very well be the greatest pitcher of my lifetime and he has acquired this designation without over powering size or power, but with unmatched control and a cerebral approach to the game of baseball. Maddux is a man among boys on the baseball mound in what has come to be known as “the steroid era” in Major League Baseball and all in a frame barely six feet tall and barely 170 pounds.

Greg Maddux’s career is simply amazing and though chicks may in fact dig the long ball, they also dig the long career.

♣ Linkage:

Yahoo! Sports

Baseball Reference

The 9th Greatest Basketball Program In The South: Arkansas Razorbacks

Arkansas Razorbacks

Location: Fayetteville, Arkansas

Nickname: Razorbacks

Reason For Nickname: The Arkansas athletic teams has been called the Razorbacks since 1910 after a student pep rally led by then-football coach Hugo Bezdek, who said that the football team played like a band of “Razorback Hogs”.

Colors: Cardinal and White

Conference: Southeastern

Arena: Bud Walton Arena (built 1993, capacity 19,200)

The Pride of Arkansas: One of the south’s greatest basketball programs, the Arkansas Razorbacks have a long storied tradition of excellence. In its history the Razorbacks have gone to 28 NCAA Tournaments and five Final Fours, including a National Championship over Duke in 1994. Along with that, the Razorbacks have won 22 Southwest Conference titles in 76 years of competiton and two SEC Championships since joining in 1992.

Sooooo… I’m A Dick

  

Question: What do Jeff Bagwell, Adam Morrison, and Jason Isringhausen have in common?

Answer: They have all responded to my heckling with either obscenities or immaturity.

Let me first say that I pride myself on dogging the opposing team in an attempt to help the team I’m rooting for win. With the exception of Caesar Izturis and Ryan Dumpster last year, I tend not to heckler any sports team from Chicago except for the White Sox. In my heckling I try to keep it clean from curse words but get as personal as possible.

Now I shall set the mood. I’m sitting a few rows back on the first base side at Wrigley Field. Jeff Bagwell was the first baseman for the Astros, and wouldn’t toss the game ball to the kids sitting in the stands. This annoyed me for some reason so I started out simply questioning. “Hey Bagwell, why don’t you throw the kids the ball?” Since he wasn’t responding or throwing the kids the ball I figured what the hell, I’ll answer my own question. “Hey Bagwell, What? You need the balls? How bout you send your wife over so she can experience a real man for once.” After that, whenever he would enter or leave the dugout, myself and some of the fans around me would call him “Ball-less Bagwell.” We also referenced his ridiculous batting stance implying that he likes to spread open his rear end for men. He proceeded to give me the finger and eventually hit a home run and pointed at me. Mission somewhat accomplished, but desired effect (him playing poorly) unattained.

A few years after this, my friend got 3rd row Bulls tickets and took me to the game because he wanted to see me in action and didn’t mind getting thrown out of the game. The Bulls played the Charlotte Bobcats, so the scorn was directed at Adam Morrison. I decided against starting it off gentle and attacked full force. I called him a cry baby because of what he did during the final four, I commented on his “dirty sanchez” facial hair and asked if his boyfriend gave him it, I let everything fly. During the half time shoot around he started coming in my direction and another team mate had to hold him back. He sat the entire third quarter (I like to claim it was because his coach saw what happened with me). We had called my friend’s dad at this point and told him to watch because of what transpired between Morrison and I. While his team was shooting free throws, Morrison is on tv making “fat” hand gestures at me and yelling at me. I swear to God, get a video of the first Bulls v. Bobcats game in 2006 and you will see for yourself. The mission this time was accomplished as Adam Morrison went 1-12 shooting and the Bulls won by about 40 points.

Finally, last year I was sitting in the bleachers at Wrigley a few rows back with my brother in-law. We had been drinking and it was a warm summer day when the Cubs were playing the rival Cardinals. This time the object of my scorn was anyone and everyone. The person who responded was Jason Isringhausen. I mentioned about how he blows more saves then his wife blows other men, and things similar to that nature. Isringhausen went nuts. He started yelling at me. eventually calling me a “fat faggot.” Hundreds of people are witnesses to this bigoted language. At this point the Manager, Tony LaRussa, ran out of the dugout and sent Isringhausen to the other side of the field to move him away from me. Mission once again accomplished as the Cubbies went on to win the game.

The reason I’m telling you these stories? This Saturday I possess 2 tickets to the Phillies v. Cubs game here in the grotesque city of brotherly hatred. These tickets are row 1 directly behind left fielder Pat Burrell. I hope to have a story about what transpires from the game on Sunday or Monday. If anyone has any knowledge of something Burrell has done, please post it as a comment so I can make sure he hears about it Saturday evening as my Cubbies beat up on the Phils. I leave you with a Bud Light commercial which they wrote about me (not really but it damn well could have been).

A Red Observation

For the love of God, can somebody PLEASE teach Adam Dunn how to slap one down the 3rd Base line?!?!  Everytime I listen to a Reds radio broadcast, when Adam Dunn comes to bat all that I ever hear is:

“The defense has put the shift on Adam Dunn, the Shortstop is playing directly behind 2nd Base and the 3rd Baseman is playing where the Shortstop would on a double-play situation.  Well I tell ya’, the 3rd Base line is WIDE. OPEN.”

Dunn has all four infielders playing on the right side of 2nd Base….

JUST STICK YOUR BAT OUT.

And oh, to answer your question…he struck out.  I’m not kidding.

Standing O!

The Detroit Tigers, in pre-season, were a hot ticket for not only a playoff selection but a possible contender for the World Series. With a fantastic start of 0-7 following their 5-nil defeat to the Red Sox, the Tigers were mathematically  eliminated from the playoffs. Let’s be honest, there has never been a team in MLB history to start 0-7 and make the playoffs and I’d put my left nut on the line and say they are officially done for. History simply doesn’t lie and I’ll stand by my statement. With their recent trades and signings this off-season, Detroit now has the Major Leagues’ 2nd highest payroll at around $138 million just ahead of the Mets and far behind the Yankees, at $209 million.

Although Curtis Granderson suffered a timely injury they did bring in the same level of production with Miguel Cabrera. We are still talking about the same Tigers team that finished 3rd in the Major Leagues in runs scored with 5.5 runs/game, and yet this season has started off in DEAD LAST averaging 2.1 runs/game. When Curtis does return, with it being a hand injury, he won’t be 100% until he mentally puts the injury behind them. Once that happens Detroit can finally get back on track but by then the Central Division will be out of reach and we know the Wildcard will come out of the east between New York or Boston; chance of playoffs…IT’S A WRAP!

Speaking of Boston, Bill Buckner received a standing ‘O’ from the Red Sox faithful at Fenway. It is officially about time Red Sox Nation pulled the monkey, and the blame, off of Buckner. It is simply childish to blame one single player for a team’s loss in a series long event. Don’t forget it wasn’t even Game 7 so they still had an opportunity to finish off the Mets one game later and failed AS A TEAM. When my Cleveland Indians lost two World Series’ in the 90’s, I as a fan never blamed ONE player for our loss. Omar Vizquel pointed the finger at Jose Mesa for blowing the save against the Marlins. However, no closer is 100% in the history of save opportunities, and it simply was nothing more than bad timing.  So I’m happy to see that after winning two World Series the Red Sox fans finally grew up and came to a realization that there was no such thing as a curse or that Bill Buckner is a (fill in the blank).

Doc’s eBook

Some of the old school TNB faithful may recall that our renowned columnist Doc Hancock had a book deal in the works (shoe, commercial deals to come) with a publishing company up north.  Doc has kept me abreast of the situation (heh, I said breast) and called me last night to let me know they had sent him the first page proofs, in electronic format no less, of his upcoming publication.  Ryne felt inclined to share, for free, his eBook with the masses and TNB felt inclined to host and diseminate it (heh, I said seminate).  I am sure Doc thanks all of you, especially his loyal readers, as I know I do.

I am very proud of Doc and am very pleased at the friendship and site we’ve built together.  We’ll have updates periodically on the progress and will be hosting the free copy indefinitely.  The working title was “Mr. Goodbars and Fly Balls” but consider yourself lucky as this early electronic page proof version may soon be limited edition now that Doc has already been told that he will have to edit the title stemming from copyright complaints from the Mr. Goodbar found in candy stores and grocery store checkout lanes across the nation.

The download is in .pdf format and is a free download.  If you’re not familiar with Adobe Acrobat’s famed file format, to view the file you will need Adobe Acrobat Reader which is also a free download — don’t say I never gave you anything and Merry freaking Christmas, got it?

Congrats, Doc!

“Mr. Goodbars and Fly Balls” eBook

Adobe Acrobat Reader

Blast From The Past

As most of you know by now, Pat Summitt and the Lady Vols won the tournament…AGAIN. And they got to cut down the nets…AGAIN. Making the 8th time Coach Summitt and Tennessee has accomplished this feat and the second time in as many years.

Below is a post from this very site dated April 4, 2007 — one year and five days ago. It was the 9th overall post ever and the 7th by me, of which only six had any real value — assuming ANY actually have real value to begin with.

Now granted I am lazy and slightly hungover (see: excessively), but the simple fact that I can conveniently recycle a post a year later — and probably could have used it for Tennessee’s other six Championships as well — combined with the shear absence of parity is why I refuse to follow women’s basketball. Oh yeah…and also because it sucks.

Summitt’s Seventh As Unexciting As First

Posted by Matt on April 4, 2007

Let me preface this article by saying that I am by NO MEANS taking anything away from Pat Summitt, she is a wonderful coach, the type that only comes around once in a lifetime. She deserves all the credit for all of the success that she has had. That being said, even though she has as many National Championships as a coach as the University of Kentucky has as a school, I still don’t care. It is women’s basketball, and it doesn’t excite me. I cannot name one player outside of Diana Taurasi or “Shamika Holdslaw” (quotes because this is what Charlie Hustle called her and I found it funny…plus, I don’t want to get anymore hate mail) and I don’t think they play college basketball anymore.

Furthermore, there are a few teams that are good year in and year out and the rest of the competition pales in comparison. These teams mainly being Tennessee and Connecticut, with another random BCS Conference school thrown in here or there. It may be seem like an amazing feat, for Summitt to win seven, but it really isn’t. There isn’t enough talent or parity to go around and the same teams will always win, and the more they win the more these teams will draw all of the talent and continue to win. It is like NCAA Men’s Lacrosse, does anybody care about men’s collegiate lacrosse outside of a few prostitutes in the Duke University area? I didn’t think so.

Just like none of us can name any female basketball players, we can’t name any men’s lacrosse players either. Why did I bring up men’s lacrosse, you ask? Well, one of Virginia, John Hopkins, Syracuse, Princeton, or North Carolina has won the NCAA Men’s Lacrosse National Championship for the past 29 seasons dating back to 1978. Just as either Tennessee or Connecticut has won the NCAA Women’s Basketball National Championship 9 of the last 12 times. It just isn’t impressive if it comes down to the same two teams every season. It makes me wonder why we even have seasons for these sports. Why not cut to the chase and let Tennessee play Connecticut, best of three, and whoever wins is the National Champion for the next calendar year and we can all get back to something more important, such as Cheers reruns on TV Land.

Destiny Or Fate, It’s All The Same

Editor’s Note: Discuss this article NOW over at ACC vs. SEC! - Destiny Or Fate, It’s All The Same

Thursday night, hours before the Tigers were set to play the UCLA Bruins in the Final Four, I sat in my Christian Theology class hearing one of my professors, who also doubles as Crichton’s soccer coach, talk about general revelation and why sometimes we as people wind up in the right place at the right time.

Listening to what Coach Jeremy Iwaszkoweic was saying about general revelation and why certain people are picked for certain things, it made me as well as what most Tiger fans around the Mid-South think about one word.

Destiny.

Fate could be added as well because for whatever reason, the dream ride that the Tigers have been on throughout the season, which continued with a convincing win over UCLA Saturday night in San Antonio behind the outstanding play of Derrick Rose and Chris Douglas-Roberts, who gave another clip to be added to the great NCAA Tournament highlights of all time by dunking on superfreshman Kevin Love. It has given my hometown something to be identified with in a positive manner.

When the Tigers chalked up win number 38, which is now the new single-season record in NCAA history, it was not only a win for the critics (that means you, Dick Vitale) but also a win for the city of Memphis — a town that always got confused with being a backwater town on the banks of the Mississippi River.

That has constantly remained in the shadow of Nashville with its country music and beautiful skyline on the Cumberland River for many years.

Well, from the last time I checked, wasn’t Vanderbilt upended by little Siena in the first round?

Uh, yeah.

And wasn’t it a while back that Tennessee, coming off its best regular season in school history, punked again in the Sweet 16, this time losing to Louisville convincingly?

Uh, yeah.

While it has been a banner year for basketball in the state, where five teams made the NCAA Tournament, two made the Sweet 16, and one sits 40 minutes away from the first ever men’s basketball NCAA championship in Tennessee’s history (sorry, NIT titles don’t matter), you can honestly say that this magical season of basketball wasn’t because of an accident of epic proportions.

It was in the cards for a long time.

And destiny, real or imagined, played a role in it.

New Offseason, Same Old Bengals

UPDATE: At 11:30AM this morning Bengals.com reported that the fledgling franchise has cut my man Chris Henry. Al Davis has reportedly called Chris to offer his condolences and to let Henry know that “Oakland is really nice in the summer time.”

♣ Link: Bengals.com

After recently being cited for driving on expired tags, embattled Cincinnati criminal wide receiver Chris Henry is now charged with assault after allegedly punching a gentleman at a party. Honestly, I am not even sure what numbered incident this is with the police for Chris…42nd?…43rd? I’ve lost count, and quite frankly it is not even fun anymore. The Bengals are a joke…

At least the Reds are .500.

♣ Link: Local 12

UPDATE:

New mugshot goodness…

If you thought the Bengals couldn’t be any more of a joke at this point, check out the bizarre interview of Chad Johnson on a recent edition of SportsCenter:

ESPN.com

Twenty Years And Worth The Wait

Twenty years ago, my mother began her tenure as supervisor in the Physical Plant and Planning at what was then known as Memphis State University.

Back then, the Tigers were coached by hometown hero Larry Finch, who led the Tigers to their greatest basketball moment back in 1973 when they faced UCLA and Bill Walton at old St. Louis Arena — an arena which I had the opportunity to witness the demise of nine years ago on a chilly late-winter afternoon while recovering from a broken ankle.

At the time, the Tigers were practicing in what was then an old and dark Fieldhouse, once home to players like Forrest Arnold and Win Wilfong in the 1950’s, and playing their games at the Mid-South Coliseum, located near where I grew up.

Many times during my formative years, I sat in some of the basketball practices, even sometime shooting baskets with Elliott Perry, Russell Young, Penny Hardaway, and David Vaughan, something that none of the people that knew my mother seemed to care about.

It was there that I learned to hate the University of Louisville, the University of Cincinnati, and later on, the University of Alabama at Bumpkinham-which employed Gene Bartow, the guy who took the Tigers some two decades ago to the Final Four.

By the time I entered fifth grade, I had watched the Tigers make a pair of Sweet 16s, an Elite Eight appearance against Cincinnati in 1992, and a Great Midwest Conference title in 1995 with Lorenzen Wright.

Once I reached middle school, the same Tigers program I grew up watching became a mere shadow of its former self. Larry Finch was gone, the Tigers moved into Conference USA with Cincinnati and Louisville and a guy by the name of Tic Price was now in charge of the program.

By the midpoint of Price’s first season, my grandmother, who would sit and watch Tiger basketball with me on cold winter nights during much of my childhood, was in a battle that Larry Finch or Tic Price could not coach her out of.

Cancer.

She lived long enough to see the Tigers lose in the first round of the 1998 NIT against Fresno State, which would be the last Tiger basketball game she would see in her lifetime.

By November she was dead at the age of 64.

And the Tigers would have one of its worst seasons in my lifetime, bowing out in the first round of the Conference USA Tournament to South Florida, which I’m pretty sure was a watershed moment in my time as a Tiger fan.

Towards the end of my 9th grade year, and 12th as a Tiger fan, the city of Memphis and Tiger basketball would change forever as John Calipari came to Memphis, rolled up his sleeves, and began to pump energy into a once-proud basketball program.

Given the fact that in my 14th year as a fan that Memphis would win the NIT against South Carolina, it was not something that Calipari was going to settle for.

And when C-USA disintergrated, it gave the Tigers a chance to do something that hadn’t been done in two decades.

Dominate the conference.

And dominate they have, winning three straight Conference Championships, with three straight 30-win seasons, and undefeated in league play this season for the first time in school history.

Sunday as I, along with several hundred Tiger fans sat, in the Roane Fieldhouse, no longer the dank that it was when I was a kid, I thought about all those times of seeing the Tigers come up short.

And when the clock struck zero, I knew that those days of waiting until next year was over.

Over and out.